


only the young

by tentoheaven (firstmins)



Series: so run [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake Character Death, Family Feels, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Implied Illegal Activities, Interrogation, M/M, Mild Blood, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstmins/pseuds/tentoheaven
Summary: In the end the bitter truth is that Donghyuck will do anything for Mark Lee, even if it breaks his heart.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: so run [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743982
Comments: 37
Kudos: 150





	only the young

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to only the young! 
> 
> This is the first NCT fic I'm posting, so I hope you enjoy it. I know that I definitely enjoyed writing it and I can't believe that I'm finally releasing this baby into this world;; The title is from the song only the young by Taylor Swift!
> 
> Also a big thank you to my lovely beta [Ari](https://twitter.com/kunclipse), who supported me throughout the hectic month of writing this and fixed my many mistakes, I love you lots <3

“This isn’t how it was supposed to end.”

He stares ahead of him, leg subconsciously bouncing up and down. His mind is scattered, images of the past night flashing through his mind. The dried blood makes his hands itch, but he doesn’t look down. He doesn’t want to remember.

“Mister Lee,” a stern voice says. He flinches, squeezing his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to think, doesn’t want to feel. “Can you tell us what happened last night?”

The words don’t reach him, he won’t let them. He wants to disappear.

The officer sits down in front of him, forcing him to make eye contact. His gaze is earnest, but all Donghyuck can see in them is blame.

He looks down.

The handcuffs have teared through his skin, mixing fresh with dried blood. _His_ dried blood. He didn’t realise he was shaking till the handcuffs cut against the open wound. The pain barely registers.

The officer says something. Another question. His mind is racing, bursting. He can’t stop thinking, shaking, aching. Just one thought keeps returning, haunting and taunting him.

_Mark Lee wasn’t supposed to die._

Mark is sitting outside when he comes home, playing with his lighter. It’s a familiar image, one Donghyuck is greeted with whenever Mark is worrying about something. Which is more often than not the case.

He doesn’t say a word as he takes his place next to him, grimacing when the moist dirt makes contact with his skin. Mark gives him a side glance. The lighter sparks alive. A small flame dances before them, reflected in Mark’s eyes. He lets it die.

Donghyuck doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Mark will tell him if he wants to.

“Am I making the right decision?” He eventually asks. Donghyuck holds back a sarcastic response and thinks.

“You always try to,” he says instead. “I think that’s the only thing that matters, hyung.”

Mark finally looks at him, properly. His eyes are wide, hopeful. Donghyuck takes his hand, the one that isn’t holding the lighter, in his. They’re cold as ice.

“You’re a good person, Mark Lee.” He pours all the trust, all the devotion he feels for his best friend in those words. He needs Mark to believe him.

Mark looks down, brows knitted together in a small frown. Donghyuck feels the urge to smoothen the wrinkles on his forehead. Instead, he lets his thumb rub circles on Mark’s hand, a gesture that always manages to reassure him.

“I just want to keep you safe,” he says, sounding painfully small. Donghyuck knows Mark isn’t only talking about him. Mark Lee has the tragic habit of taking too much weight on his young shoulders. It’s all Donghyuck can do to help him back up when he falls down, hoping that, maybe, one day, Mark would let him share his burdens. For now he’s here, waiting, as he has been for seven years.

“You’re an idiot.” Mark understands, hears the words unspoken, knows the language Donghyuck speaks. He smiles, and Donghyuck’s heart soars.

“Yet you’re still here,” he softly answers.

It’s Donghyuck’s turn to smile. “Like I’d ever leave.”

Mark wavers, biting his lower lip in a nervous gesture. He glances back at the lighter in his right hand, before returning his gaze. Donghyuck lifts a single brow. The weight in his hands disappears when Mark pulls back, only to be replaced by something smaller seconds later. He looks down to see the red lighter in his hands, eyes zeroing in on the small M.L. written in black marker.

“I want you to keep it.” Mark’s voice is a whisper and Donghyuck breaks his eyes away from the markings to observe him. His eyes are shining, so close that Donghyuck could count his lashes if he wanted to.

“Why?” Something dark and heavy bubbles up in his chest. Something awfully close to concern.

Mark smiles like they’re sharing a secret, but Donghyuck feels painfully out of the loop. “Because I trust you, Hyuckie. More than I trust myself.”

That was the moment Donghyuck should’ve known.

“Do you recognise this man?” The officer — Seo, he’d heard someone call him — places a picture on the table, pushing it towards him.

He doesn’t respond.

They’ve played this game for hours now.

Officer Seo sighs and it brings Donghyuck an odd sense of satisfaction.

“This won’t get you anywhere, Lee.” He seems at lost on what to do. Good.

Donghyuck rubs his hands together, lets his fingers caress the bandages on his wrists. They’d taken off the handcuffs, but the scars would take time to fade. At least his hands are clean, he thinks. The same can’t be said of his red-stained shirt. He’d have to ask Renjun to bring him a new one once he gets out. _If_ he gets out. If they still want him. The thought is a stab in his chest.

“When can I leave?” He asks, not able to keep the slight desperation out of his voice. It’s lost its smooth quality, rough from disuse.

Officer Seo laughs in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right? Kid, you haven’t said a word since you got here.”

“You can’t keep me here,” he protests, though in all honesty he knows they easily can.

“We will, for as long as it takes for you to speak.”

A minute passes. In his mind he sees Jisung’s tearful eyes look at him, pleading. _It’s what he would’ve wanted._

“What do you want to know?”

Officer Seo grins.

Donghyuck is twelve and lonely when he first sees the unfamiliar boy in his neighbourhood. He’s swinging, alone. It’s an eerie sight at this hour of the evening, when the sky is grey and the shadows look darker than usual. The boy looks too young to be here on his own this late.

Maybe he’s like him.

It’s with that thought that Donghyuck quietly approaches the playground, hiding behind bushes till he’s near enough to make out the boy’s features. Like he’d thought, he looks around his age. Maybe a bit older. It’s hard to be sure, with the cap that’s casting a dark shadow over the boy’s face. Donghyck startles when a flame lights up in the boy’s hand, only now noticing the lighter he’s holding. In his fright he’d accidentally ruffled the bush he’s holding onto. He stands, frozen, as the boy’s head snaps up in his direction, eyes searching. Donghyuck doesn’t even breathe.

The boy gives up, shrugging before dropping his gaze to his own hands again. Donghyuck lets out a silent sigh of relief.

He carefully scoops down, trying to take a closer look. There’s something else in his hands besides the lighter, but it’s too small to make out. Donghyuck huffs and stands up, making up his mind on a whim.

He walks out from behind the bush and heads straight for the boy.

The stranger immediately notices someone intruding his space. First, there’s only surprise on his face. It quickly shifts into a distrustful glare.

Donghyuck pays it no mind, instead focusing on what’s in his hands. A red lighter, the one he’d already noticed, and in his other hand…

He wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Those are gross,” he says, referring to the cigarette the boy is dangling between his fingers.

The boy frowns and tilts his head to the side, watching Donghyuck with curious eyes. He has big eyes, Donghyuck notices. It makes him look even younger.

“So?” The stranger responds.

Donghyuck scoffs. “You shouldn’t smoke it, obviously. It suits old people better anyway.”

For some reason this makes him smile. It looks sad.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” He asks, clearly trying to change the subject. As if Donghyuck would let him.

He crosses his arms, glaring. “I could ask you the same thing.”

The boy hums and averts his eyes. That settles it, then. Donghyuck sighs theatrically before taking a seat on the swing next to him. This seems to take the boy by surprise, and Donghyuck inwardly scoffs at how easy it is to read him. If they are similar in any way, he should know better. It’s then and there that Donghyuck takes it upon himself to teach him. But for now, he wants to satisfy his curiosity.

“So, what are you doing with that deathstick?” He pretends not to notice the way Mark flinches.

“It’s not mine,” he says.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Of course it’s not, you’re like, twelve.”

“And how old are you exactly?” He asks, raising his eyebrows.

Donghyuck fights down a furious blush, embarrassed but refusing to show it. “That’s irrelevant.”

A huffed laugh. “Sure, kid.”

He glares at him. “The name’s Lee Donghyuck and you’re _definitely_ not old enough to call me that.”

He offers his hand. After a second of hesitation, the boy takes it. His hands are cold, but pleasantly soft.

“Mark Lee. Thirteen.”

“That’s only a year older than me!”

Mark looks at him weirdly, like he’s contemplating something, before staring ahead of him again. He starts to swing. Donghyuck follows.

“Bet I can swing higher than you,” he yells out, pushing himself from the ground with a hard kick.

Out of the corner of his eye Mark gives him an incredulous stare. For a long second Donghyuck thinks he’s just going to ignore his quip.

Then he hears it, a determined mumble.

“You’re _so_ on.”

Donghyuck laughs louder than he has in years.

“Mark Lee, you say?”

Donghyuck nods mutely. “It’s his…” He looks down at his cleaned hands. He can’t say it, but officer Seo seems to understand. He whispers something into the ear of one of the other cops before turning back to Donghyuck. The other cop exits the room.

“Where is he going?” Donghyuck asks, feeling uneasy.

Officer Seo smiles reassuringly. “Nowhere you need to worry about. Now, how long have you known this Mark Lee?”

“Seven years.” He doesn’t even need to think about it.

“What was your relationship to him?” The bastard asks. As if that’s not the same thing Donghyuck has been wondering for years. As if there’s even a point in wondering, now.

“He was—” His voice breaks. This is wrong, all wrong.

He tries again. “Mark _is_ —”

_My best friend. Infuriatingly caring and stupidly kind. He’s the only person that can make me so angry that it makes me want to punch someone. He’s also the one person I’ll always forgive. Mark is freedom, feeling safe. He’s home. Family._

“He’s everything.”

After that first time, they meet again every few days and always at night. Sometimes, Donghyuck is the one to arrive first, swinging for hours before Mark appears. Other times Mark doesn’t show up at all. Most of the time, though, Mark is waiting for him with a smile on his face and a lighter in his hand.

“Are you ever gonna light that up, or what?” Donghyuck finally asks one day, over a month into their odd friendship. If you could even call it that.

Mark’s head immediately shoots up and the hand that had been playing with the cigarette freezes. His eyes are wide, focused on Donghyuck as if he’d just threatened him. Then, slowly, his gaze turns to the cigarette, only to meet Donghyuck’s again a second later.

“Light it up?” He asks.

Donghyuck pulls a face. “Stop acting all weird. What else are you gonna do with it?”

Mark seems to consider this, brows knitted into a frown. After a couple of excruciating minutes of just staring at the cig, he finally nodded. His grip on the red lighter tightened enough for his knuckles to turn white. Then, in one fluent motion, he lights the cigarette.

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows, nearly impressed.

When Mark hesitates again, Donghyuck shoves him一more gentle than he usually would, but a shove nonetheless一and it earns him a burning glare. He can’t help the grin that creeps on his face. The prospect of seeing Mark cough his lungs out with tears in his eyes makes him giddy. He had first hand experience with this after all.

His expectations are fulfilled seconds later, when the cigarette is finally between Mark’s lips and he inhales. It’s too much at once, Donghyuck can instantly tell. Mark’s eyes grow even bigger and he throws the cig on the ground before the first cough escapes him. Donghyuck steps on it and twists his foot, making sure they wouldn’t cause any fires before hitting Mark’s back. To help with the coughing, of course.

“You were right, it’s gross,” Mark says once he has recovered.

“I’m always right,” is his automatic response. He glanced at his friend. Mark’s eyes were on the ground again and he had his thinking face on. Not his best look. Donghyuck almost says as much before changing his mind. Instead he adds, more tentative, “I don’t get why you were holding onto it in the first place.”

It’s a question, really. Just one that Mark doesn’t have to answer, if it’s too much.

A heavy silence settles between them and Donghyuck is starting to think that it really _is_ too much. Which is fine. He can just change the subject, has plenty of experience with it.

“My mother died for this shit.” There is anger in his voice, but pain too. Like he’s holding back a sob.

Donghyuck doesn’t know what to say.

So instead, he listens to Mark as he tells his story. After that day Mark never goes near a cigarette again, but he holds on to the lighter.

They’ve known each other for less than a year when they decide to run away.

It’s a frantic decision, taken in the heat of the moment. Still, Donghyuck never ends up regretting it. He can only hope Mark feels the same.

Foster care won’t miss him, but the same can’t necessarily be said of Mark’s father. Yet it’s him who first proposes the idea, him who makes the arrangements. Donghyuck knows there’s an underlying resentment between father and son that can’t be fixed, and maybe that’s why he does it.

To Donghyuck it’s a new beginning, one he’s always dreamt of. From then on he looks at Mark with stars in his eyes, and at times he feels just as unreachable.

“That’s a young age to live on your own.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I wasn’t alone.”

Truth is, he never could’ve managed it without Mark. At times he likes to believe that this sentiment goes both ways.

The officer writes something down on a piece of paper, then nods at Donghyuck to continue.

Money is a problem, until it isn’t.

“Where did you get this?” Donghyuck frowns as he counts the cash he’d found in Mark’s bed. Or well. Sleeping bag.

Mark snatches the banknotes from his hands. “None of your business,” he snaps, before softening. He mumbles an apology, but Donghyuck barely hears it.

His mind is racing. He gasps, lips curling up in a big grin. “You finally found a job?”

The hesitation on Mark’s face makes alarm bells ring in his head. He chooses to ignore them.

“Yeah,” Mark says eventually with a tentative smile. “Something like that.”

“This is so lame, hyung.” Despite his words he can’t stop himself from giggling as he shuffles forward.

“Quit whining for once in your life, Hyuckie,” Mark says playfully. This statement is quickly followed by a groan when Donghyuck elbows him in the stomach.

“I don’t need to see you to hurt you,” he threatens, but it’s futile. Just like his attempts to look between the gaps of Mark’s fingers.

Truly, this is dumb.

And Donghyuck has said as much, multiple times by now. Yet Mark doesn’t relent, insisting on surprising him. With what, Donghyuck has no clue. His birthday has long passed, so he isn’t sure what the occasion is either. He sighs, opting to maybe just wait and see, as Mark has asked since the beginning.

“We’re almost there,” Mark whispers, voice filled with excitement. Donghyuck can’t help but feel giddy in return.

The ground beneath his feet feels soft, but every now and then there’s the crunch of something breaking as he steps on it. Branches, he assumes. Based on that, and the musky aroma, he has deduced that they are in a forest. Unsurprisingly, this gives him more questions than answers.

“Seriously, what—”

“We’re here,” Mark says. Then, finally, he lowers his hands.

Donghyuck blinks a few times, eyes adjusting to the harsh daylight, before landing on the sight before him.

It’s a cottage, of sorts. It’s small and the rooftops are covered in moss, as are the windows. One of said windows’ glass has been smashed in as well, though the hole is too small to climb through. All in all, the place looks, well, crappy.

Donghyuck instantly adores it.

“Is this…?” He looks at Mark with wide eyes and he grins back at him.

“It’s ours,” he confirms. “Or well, technically, it’s no ones. I checked. I know you’ve been getting tired of moving around as much so I’ve been looking.”

Donghyuck feels a familiar warmth fill up in his chest, and the unfamiliar stinging of tears behind his eyes. He mentally scolds himself. He is _not_ about to cry with Mark here. Not because of Mark Lee. Even if he can’t think of another time in his life when anyone went through this much effort, just for him.

He punches Mark’s arm, hard. The boy yelps in pain, giving him a bewildered look. “What was that for?”

“I hate you,” Donghyuck mumbles, refusing to meet Mark’s eyes. Then, softer, he added, “thank you, hyung.”

He doesn’t have to look to know that Mark is smiling. That dumb, dumb smile he has whenever Donghyuck says something nice to him, the one that makes his stomach churn in a way he refuses to acknowledge as good.

“I got the lock fixed,” Mark says as he digs in his pocket, fishing out the keys. They dangle in his hands, attached to a cheap keychain in the form of the letter H. Donghyuck raises a questioning eyebrow.

A blush appears on Mark’s cheeks. “I wanted a D, for Donghyuck, but those were sold out, so I went for the next best thing instead.”

Donghyuck can’t help but snort. He takes the keys from Mark’s hand and marches to the door, pausing only when he’s right in front of it. He frowns.

That’s not right.

“You fixed the lock?”

Mark sounds confused. “Yeah? Of course I did.”

Donghyuck purses his lips together. The warmth in his chest has vanished completely. “Then why is the door open?”

He turns to look at Mark, whose face has turned pale. “Back away from the door, Hyuckie.”

“But—”

A single glare from Mark is enough to shut him up. This is serious.

“Stay here. I will go take a look, okay?”

Donghyuck nods mutely. His eyes grow wide when Mark takes out a pocket knife. Mark gives him a feeble smile, a small reassurance. “Just to be safe.”

In the two years he's been with Mark, he's never known him to be anything close to careful. At least not when it concerns his own safety. He doesn’t say anything, though.

Mark opens the door and disappears within the dark cottage. Time passes at an agonising pace as Donghyuck waits for— Well, he isn't sure _what_ he is waiting for. It doesn't take long for him to get impatient, and soon enough he's approaching the cottage himself. He leans in, perking up his ears in an attempt to hear something. He picks up on faint footsteps, walking slowly.

"Mark?" He calls out. The footsteps instantly halt before coming closer at a fast pace. Soon enough, Mark appears from behind a corner.

"Nothing," he says, answering Donghyuck's unspoken question.

It doesn't set him at ease. "Has anything been taken?"

Mark shakes his head. "Whoever broke in entered and left without a trace."

"That doesn't make sense," he counters. "Why would anyone be so cautious as to not leave a trace and then make a mistake as big as leaving the door open?"

He can tell Mark is thinking the same thing. "Why enter in the first place, if you're not gonna take anything?"

Wood creaks in the distance. The place looks old, so it doesn't surprise Donghyuck. In fact, from what he can see it looks like heaven compared to some of the places they'd stayed in before.

A sudden thought strikes him, punching the air out of his lungs. Mark's eyes are instantly on him, fully alarmed. His mind is racing now, a shudder running down his spine. When he speaks, his voice is barely a whisper. "What if they never left?"

Mark inhales sharply, grip on his knife tightening. Right that second, another creak resonates throughout the cottage. Donghyuck presses his lips into a thin line, placing a hand on Mark's arm to lower it, along with the weapon. It makes the other frown, but Donghyuck simply shakes his head.

_Let me take a look first_ , he mouths. Mark nods reluctantly, allowing Donghyuck to take the lead.

Donghyuck has always been lighter on his feet, just slightly better at sneaking around than Mark, and never hesitates to flaunt his gift either. He knows it bothers Mark in moments like these, when he has to let Donghyuck put himself in danger, just because that's the safer option for both of them.

His pace is slow as he follows the direction the sounds had come from. He's walking through a hallway, slowly passing one closed door after another. His eyes instantly fall on the door at the far end, right. The only door that isn't fully closed.

He holds his breath when he pushes it open, fully anticipating the groan that follows. The atmosphere is tense, making him smile wryly. He can practically feel the intruder's panic.

Pushing down the urge to simply call out, he takes his first proper step into the room. He looks around, taking note of all the possible hiding spaces. The bedroom has plenty, ranging from beneath the bed to behind the curtains.

Yet, his eyes are pulled to the old closet pushed against the left wall.

It's made of wood and looks positively ancient. Definitely old enough to make some noise if someone were to climb into it. He grins.

_Found you._

He takes out his phone, the one Mark had bought both of them when they first started this journey together. Donghyuck shoots him a quick texts to brief him about the situation, before putting it back in his back pocket. Mark would be ready to take action if the intruder has anything on them.

With each step towards the closet, the air in the room seems to grow tenser. Soon enough he's standing before the closet, listening to the rushed breathing on the other side of the door. Whoever it is clearly hadn't expected to encounter anyone.

He takes a deep breath.

Then, in one swift movement, he throws the closet door open.

A loud cry startles him, making him jump backwards as Mark bursts into the room. He takes in the sight before him, his heart beating at a rapid speed. Whatever he'd been expecting, this isn't it.

_This_ being a boy who couldn't possibly be any older than him cradling another child against his chest as he looks at Donghyuck with fearful eyes.

The figure in his arms — another young boy, from what Donghyuck can tell — is shaking with what he soon realises are sobs. The older boy's hand is covering his mouth, stopping the cries from escaping. Donghyuck's heart shatters at the sight. This picture of pure terror is all too familiar.

He crouches down, slowly getting on the same height as the boys. The older boy's eyes flicker to something behind him, and Donghyuck turns to see Mark, mouth agape and knife in his hand.

"Christ, put that thing away," he says, snapping Mark out of it. He turns his attention back to the boys. Breathing comes easier when he sees that the younger boy's sobs have ceased. Said boy is observing him with glazed eyes, void of any trust. Donghyuck could work with that.

"Hi!" He flashes his brightest grin, the one that always leaves Mark blinking for a few seconds before recovering. The oldest boy glares in return, fear seemingly replaced by anger now that he knows they don’t form an immediate threat. "My name is Donghyuck!"

His extended hand is ignored. He shrugs it off and points behind him. "The guy over there is Mark."

"Hyuck..."

He rolls his eyes, leaning into the closet and smiling conspiratorially. "He has some trust issues, but you didn't get it from me," he stage whispers, smile growing wider at Mark's loud protests.

The boy is visibly surprised by the entire charade, huffing out a laugh before recomposing himself. The other one, in his arms, is leaning back now, lips parted. Their eyes meet and Donghyuck can tell there's some silent conversation going on. Eventually, the older boy straightens up and clears his throat.

"Renjun," he says softly. Then glancing at the other boy, "This is Jisung."

Donghyuck's smile dims, turns into something more sincere. "It's nice to meet you, Renjun and Jisung."

He stands back up and glances at Mark, who's sporting a tentative smile of his own. Donghyuck's shoulders drop as he sighs in relief. That's established, then.

"I doubt that closet is comfortable," he says, raising a teasing eyebrow at Jisung, who promptly flushes in embarrassment. "Let's talk somewhere more comfortable. This is our new home, after all."

Jisung's eyes shine when realisation dawns upon him, and this time it isn't because of the tears. Renjun shoots Donghyuck a grateful smile, which he waves off. He’s doing this as much for himself as for them.

They lead him to a cold, empty cell. It has a bed with a thin mattress, and that’s more luxury than Donghyuck has had in the past.

He enters it willingly, doesn’t so much as struggle. The surprise on officer Seo’s face is obvious.

Donghyuck sits down, feeling his body relax for the first time in over 24 hours. For a second he closes his eyes and lets himself savour the peace.

“I’ll bring you back in for interrogation tomorrow morning. Thank you for your cooperation, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck simply nods in response, the words washing over him. After a while he can hear the sound of footsteps, leaving.

“Wait,” he says. Too quiet, he thinks, but the footsteps come to a halt.

“Yes?”

Donghyuck opens his eyes almost drowsily. The exhaustion is pulling him under and all he wants is to succumb to that oblivious darkness.

“Can I make a phone call?”

Seo purses his lips together before nodding curtly. “Tomorrow. After we’re finished.”

The relief he’d anticipated doesn’t come. Instead he feels paralysed.

He forces a smile, hoping to look grateful.

Donghyuck loves affection. Craves it, even.

He throws his arm over Jaemin’s shoulder, ruffles Jisung’s hair and pulls Renjun into a hug when he allows it. Whenever Chenle visits, he holds him tight and refuses to let go, despite the younger’s giggled protests. Since recently he picks up Jeno’s cats and cuddles with them, then moves on to their owner when the little ones become disgruntled.

Then there’s Mark.

Mark, who will duck to avoid his cheek kisses and brush off his hugs. Mark, who always lets his hand slip away when Donghyuck tries to grasp it and pretends he never noticed his intentions in the first place. Mark who will simply reject his flirty remarks, laugh them off and change the subject.

Mark, who would still hold him close when they’re alone at night, hug him when Donghyuck feels like he’s ten again and alone, so alone.

Mark is his best friend, yet sometimes it feels like he doesn’t know him at all.

“Why do you always pull away?” He asks one day. It’s been a long one, and it has taken a toll on them all. The others are already sleeping, the four of them forming a cuddle pile in the middle of the living room that even Renjun and Jisung had not-so-reluctantly taken apart of. Mark’s gaze is soft as he watches them, a small smile on his lips. It disappears at Donghyuck’s question.

“I don’t—”

Donghyuck interrupts him. “When we’re not alone, or even just outside. It’s like I can’t even touch you.” He sounds like a child and hates it, but he needs to know.

The guilt in Mark’s eyes is nearly palpable. “I don’t mean to.”

“That’s a lie.”

Their eyes finally meet. Mark bites his lip. Donghyuck’s gaze follows the movement before shifting up again.

“I worry,” Mark says slowly, uncertain.

Donghyuck scoffs. “When don’t you?”

“I worry about us.”

And _oh_ , that’s new.

He waits a moment, let Mark’s words wash over him. Then he asks. “In which sense?”

“I worry of what people might think.”

Donghyuck can’t help the way he freezes up. He turns away, trying not to let the hurt show, but it’s bleeding out of him. He hears Mark gasp and stands up to get away, maybe outside, get some air.

“Wait, Hyuck.” A hand takes hold of his. The grip is firm, but not enough for Donghyuck to be unable to get away if he wants to. He doesn’t. He waits, still looking away.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Like _what_ could you possibly mean it then?” He bites back. To his frustration he could feel tears well up in his eyes and he blinks them away.

“Look at me, Hyuckie. Please.” The moment he does this the battle would be lost. Donghyuck knows this, and so does Mark, the jerk.

He looks anyway. Mark’s puppy eyes melt his anger away like snow under the sun. His lower lip is jutted out in a pleading pout and, really, Donghyuck never stood a chance anyway. He sits down, waiting for Mark to explain.

“I’m scared,” he starts, sounding more vulnerable than Donghyuck has heard him in a long time. “Scratch that, I’m fucking terrified.”

Mark lowers his head, buries it in his hands. He sounds tired.

“I’m terrified that one day I’ll fuck up and make the wrong people angry.” A deep breath. His grip on Donghyuck’s hand tightens. “I’m scared that they’ll take one look at me, at us, and know what you mean to me.”

It’s a confession, but it’s also so much more. Donghyuck aches to hold him, promise him they’d be fine, but he can’t. It’s not a promise people like them could afford to take.

“If that day ever comes, and you get hurt because of me… I wouldn’t be able to live with it.” He holds Donghyuck captive with those sparkling eyes and Donghyuck feels like drowning in them.

“I won’t let that happen,” he whispers, but Mark doesn’t seem to hear him.

“If anything ever happens to you, any of you,” his eyes flash to the cuddle pile in the corner, “I might just burn this whole world down.”

His words are cold, spoken like the truth. Donghyuck shivers.

“And I’d burn myself down with it.”

“You know the deal. We go in, take only what’s necessary and then get out asap. If _anything_ happens, you call for me. Got it?”

Donghyuck’s mouth curls into a smile as Renjun and Jisung nod. He can’t help but be amused by Mark’s whole ‘leader’ act, but he has to admit he’s good at it. They have survived this long, after all.

Renjun, on the other hand, seems to be growing tired of it. “This is what, the fifth time we’re doing this? I think we get it by now, Mark hyung.”

This makes Mark pout and Donghyuck honest to god almost coos. It’s too much, truly.

“Don’t upset him, Renjunnie!” He says, throwing an arm over the other boy, then retracting it at Renjun’s glare. He grins. “Let him live out his leader fantasy, I’m pretty sure he kicks on it.”

“I most certainly do not,” Mark says, frowning. “I’m just trying—”

“We know,” Donghyuck says simply. It comes out softer than intended, but seems to do the trick. Mark relaxes, nodding, before turning towards the old building.

Donghyuck moves to follow, but turns when he feels two pairs of eyes burning holes in his back. Jisung is looking at him like he’s trying to solve a puzzle, meanwhile Renjun is outright _smirking_.

“What,” he says, crossing his arms.

Jisung gapes for a few more seconds, before starting, “are you guys—”

Renjun slaps a hand over Jisung’s mouth, still smiling in a way that irks Donghyuck more than anything. “It’s nothing.”

That’s. Suspicious. But then again, this is Renjun.

Donghyuck shrugs it off, finally making his way into the building.

It quickly becomes obvious that someone was ahead of them. The place has already been raided, furniture pushed to the side and random junk spread over the floor. They’ll be lucky if they manage to find anything worthwhile. It’s frustrating, but hardly the first time something like this happens. They’re not the only ones scavenging out here, after all.

He wanders around a bit longer, getting more and more agitated by the second, when he hears a yell. He freezes, alarmed, and a loud groan follows. It sounds like Renjun.

Next thing he knows he’s running up the stairs, towards the noise. It sounds like some kind of struggle is happening, a fight between Renjun and someone else, someone with a deep voice.

Jisung has already reached them when Donghyuck comes storming in. Renjun has gotten the upper hand and is holding the other guy’s arms behind his back. The stranger is struggling, head bowed as he kicks and pulls to free his arms. Donghyuck can’t make out his features, just sees a flurry of faded pink hair.

“Fuck, let me _go_ ,” he yells, each word punctuated with another jut of the arms. Renjun clenches his jaw but holds steady.

Donghyuck is just about to offer his help when Mark barges in, face contorted in concern.

“Is everyone okay? What happened?”

“Peachy,” Renjun grunts as he receives a kick to the stomach.

The stranger freezes then, surprised by the new voice. He must’ve not realised more people had entered the room, too occupied with Renjun. Now he’s definitely aware of it though, and his face is slowly turning up and— _Oh._

Oh.

"Jaemin?" He asks, voice barely a whisper.

The frustration on Jaemin's face instantly melts into surprise, shock. Then, an enormous grin appears on his face. It's still exactly the same, so familiar it makes Donghyuck want to cry.

"Lee Donghyuck!" He calls out, and Donghyuck is already rushing forward.

He can faintly hear the surprised reactions of the others, but pays them no mind as he releases Jaemin from Renjun's iron grip and takes him into his arms. He breaths in Jaemin's scent, one he still remembers despite the time that has passed. Jaemin's breath tingles in his neck and Donghyuck can feel him smiling. It's all so surreal, he can't stop a crazed laugh from escaping.

They stand there, holding each other impossibly close for what feels like an eternity.

"Is anyone gonna explain what just happened...?" Jisung, sounding completely at lost.

"I have no clue," Mark says, and there's something in his voice. Uncertainty? Dejection?

It's enough to make Donghyuck pull back, glancing at Mark. He's frowning, and that devastating pout has made a comeback.

They pull apart, but Jaemin grabs his hand before Donghyuck can let go completely. Even that simple gesture is achingly familiar and he feels nostalgic in the best way — a way he'd thought he would never feel.

He smiles at Jaemin, who's still grinning in return, before turning to his friends.

"This is Jaemin."

Renjun huffs. "We got _that_ part."

Mark elbows him and Donghyuck gives him a grateful smile.

"Jaemin is—"

"Hyuckie's best friend!" Jaemin fills in, throwing his arm over Donghyuck shoulders to pull him closer once more. He feels heat creep up to his cheeks and splutters, but doesn't push Jaemin away.

Then he sees the way Mark's face has fallen. He looks upset and that's, well, weird. But Donghyuck doesn't like it one bit. His discomfort only grows when he notices the uneasy side glances both Renjun and Jisung send Mark's way.

With a gentle smile directed at Jaemin, he lets go.

"Childhood best friend, actually. Foster buddies from age two to ten!" He explains cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. It’s not really a cheerful topic, not to him, but Jaemin was one of the few good things about it.

If Jaemin notices the tense atmosphere, he doesn't comment on it. Donghyuck is grateful.

"Yeah, until _you_ decided to leave me behind," he says with a pout, putting a hand to his chest.

"You know I wouldn't have left if I had a choice." It's the truth. No matter how much he'd craved for a better family back then, he knew nothing could compare to the mere comfort of Jaemin.

Jaemin breaks out in another smile. "I know, silly. Now why don't you introduce you to your pretty friends?"

Someone chokes — Jisung, probably — and Donghyuck laughs again, shaking his head. "Can't believe I thought for even a second that you'd have changed."

It's awkward at first, at least with the others. Donghyuck and Jaemin are basically attached to the hip for the rest of the day, rekindling their old friendship. Jisung occasionally pops into the conversation with a question, once he'd grown accustomed to Jaemin's overwhelming presence. Even Renjun warms up to him pretty quickly. Jaemin receives a punch for every flirtatious remark he makes, but Donghyuck could spot the pink dusting Renjun's cheeks from miles away. It looks like Jaemin would fit in in no time, and when they leave the building it goes without saying that Jaemin joins them.

Donghyuck is smiling, still can't believe what happened, and that's when he spots Mark, walking behind the group. A wave of worry washes over him. Mark is looking at his feet as he walks, frowning, clearly torn up about something.

He doesn't hesitate before letting his hand slip out of Jaemin's and slowing his pace until he's walking next to Mark. Mark doesn't even notice his presence, probably too stuck in his own head again. It pulls at Donghyuck's heartstrings when he gets like this, but this time it's worse. Because somehow, he feels like this is his fault.

He carefully, bumps his shoulder against Mark's. Slowly, Mark looks up, blinking a few times before his eyes widen and shift between their friends walking ahead and Donghyuck.

"Hyuck?"

Donghyuck smiles gently. "That's my name."

Like the sun breaking through the clouds, Mark returns his smile.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or do I need to force it out of you?" Mark's smile slips and that pensive frown returns, wrinkling his forehead. Donghyuck doesn't think twice before smoothing it out with his finger. Then he lets his finger slip down Mark's face, like a caress, and Mark closes his eyes.

Somewhere along the way, they've stopped walking. Donghyuck's cheeks flare up when he realises their closeness, but doesn't retract his hand. Instead, his finger moves to the corner of Mark's lips, just barely touching his skin. Mark shivers, eyelashes fluttering, casting shadows over his cheeks. Then, gently, Donghyuck pushes Mark's lips into a smile.

Mark huffs out a surprised laugh and opens his eyes. The smile he gives Donghyuck is undeniably fond, and Donghyuck can recognise it even under the shitty lighting of the street lamps.

"That's better," he whispers and Mark ducks his head, smiling gently. "Will you now tell me what's bothering you?"

Mark gnaws his lower lip. "It's stupid."

"You're stupid," is his automatic response. "Now, tell me."

In the distance, Jaemin barks out a loud laugh. It makes Donghyuck roll his eyes, but then he spots the look on Mark's face.

"Oh. Oh! I see," he says, his lips curling into a shit-eating grin. "This is about Jaeminnie."

He uses the nickname on purpose and absolutely _relishes_ in the way it makes Mark's nose scrunch up.

"That's really it! You're jealous!" He laughs, loud, because for some reason that thought makes him positively thrilled.

"No, I’m not!" Mark quickly sputters, cheeks already turning an alarming shade of red.

"Then what is it, huh?" Donghyuck asks, swaying on his feet.

"Uhh."

"Thought so." He tries to temper down his amusement, to no avail. It's rare for Mark to act like this, but when he does it's so _cute._

However, as much as he loves teasing Mark, he also doesn't want him to feel upset over something as silly as this.

"Mark," he says softly, tilting his chin up so that their eyes meet. "You're my best friend."

"But Jaemin—"

"Is also a friend. A close friend of mine that I thought I'd never see again." Donghyuck hesitates before continuing. "But no matter how close we were, are or will grow to be, he's not you."

The blush on Mark's face somehow intensifies.

"You gave me everything, Mark Lee. Everything I have, everything I am today is thanks to you. Nothing will ever compare to that. So don't you ever, _ever_ , think that you're replaceable."

He's not sure whether he's imagining the glossiness of Mark's eyes. Just to be sure, he takes his hand in his. "You're not getting rid of me that easily," he finishes lamely. The embarrassment has caught up to him, so he averts his eyes.

Their friends have long disappeared in the distance. They are standing alone in the darkened street and maybe that's what gives him the courage to not let go. Instead, he tightens his hold on Mark's hand before pulling him along.

"Come on, the others are probably already waiting," he says, rushed. "You have the keys, in case you forgot. The last thing we need is Renjun breaking our lock _again._ "

Officer Seo settles in the chair in front of him, folder in his hand. It instantly grabs Donghyuck’s attention; the man has shown him pictures before, but never documents. It makes him uneasy. This can’t mean much good.

“We managed to dig up your file, Lee Donghyuck,” Seo says casually as he carefully opens the folder.

Donghyuck holds back a gasp when he sees the old picture attached to the first page. It’s him, from long ago. All the kids had to get their picture taken, it helped their potential foster families decide. His grin was forced, eyes too empty for an eight year old. He’d long lost hope for a good family, back then.

Officer Seo must’ve noticed the way he paled and offered him a reassuring smile. “You were a cute kid.” The _where did it go wrong_ is left unsaid, but Donghyuck hears it anyway and stiffens. Seo couldn’t see the exhaustion in his younger self’s eyes, the way his shoulders were slumped and the grin was closer to a grimace. Born a liar, one of his foster parents had once said. Looking back on it, Donghyuck can’t disagree.

“I was miserable,” is all he says in response. Seo’s smile immediately vanishes.

He clears his throat. “Right. Well, there isn’t much in here to be honest.”

That’s a relief, at least.

“You went missing at age thirteen, it says.” Seo meets his eyes, waiting till Donghyuck nods in affirmation. “Care to elaborate on that?”

Donghyuck shrugs.

“You were presumed dead, did you know?” He didn’t, but if anything it’s a relief. It probably made things easier for him, though he guesses he blew that now. He shrugs again.

This seems to rub the officer the wrong way. The frown on his face is disapproving and familiar. Donghyuck’s had a decade full of them. “You don’t care that all the people who cared about you believed you were dead?”

He snorts. Now _that’s_ funny. “Officer Seo—”

“Johnny,” he interrupts, and Donghyuck raises his brows. It feels weird to address a _cop_ , of all people, in such a familiar manner.

“Johnny,” he concedes, now with an amused smile, “have you _read_ my file?”

The frown on Johhny’s face deepens, seemingly realising what Donghyuck’s implying. “Your foster parents searched for you, for months. You had siblings there, right?”

Donghyuck glares at him. “I didn’t have a family, Johnny. I had a house full of strangers who pretended to care about me whenever it was convenient.”

Johnny blinks before nodding slowly. Then, his eyes narrow. “‘Didn’t’? Past tense?”

_Of course_ , he thinks, the image of Mark’s fond expression clear in his mind. He thinks of the way Jisung’s eyes sparkle whenever he’s excited about something, the fond smiles on Renjun’s face when he thinks no one is looking, Jaemin’s warm hugs. He thinks of Chenle giggling, trying to catch his breath as he laughs with tears in his eyes, and Jeno, a steady and comforting presence, always. He thinks and thinks and his heart cries out for them.

Johnny is looking at him expectantly, patient as ever.

Donghyuck nods, swallowing the lump in his throats. “Past tense,” he agrees.

The living room is submerged in darkness when Donghyuck startles awake. He gets up with shallow breaths, completely disoriented. Then he remembers. _Mark._

Loud footsteps are heading in his direction, no doubt belonging to the person who’s been on his mind all evening. He realises what has woken him up wasn’t a nightmare, but rather the sound of the front door slamming shut.

The worry that has been gnawing at his mind intensifies when he makes out a dark figure stumbling into the room. Usually, Mark is careful about being quiet whenever he gets home late after one of his jobs. But Donghyuck had felt something was wrong hours ago, when his texts were left unanswered and the other boys slowly shuffled to their respective bedrooms. Other days they tend to sleep in the living room together, but without Mark it felt uneasy, like a puzzle one piece from being complete. No one had voiced their intention, but Donghyuck soon realised it wasn’t a coincidence that they were staying up later than usual. They knew he would wait, so they did to.

Only when Jisung started yawning, obviously struggling to keep his eyes open, did Donghyuck urge him to go get some sleep in his bedroom. Renjun had followed minutes later, and then it was just Donghyuck, Jaemin and Jeno sitting in the ratty sofa. Jaemin had grabbed his hand, letting his thumb rub circles on the back of his hand in a gesture he knew helped Donghyuck relax. They lasted another hour or so, but when the caresses stopped and Donghyuck looked over, Jaemin’s head had fallen on Jeno’s shoulder, soft snores escaping his open mouth. Jeno had smiled when he noticed Donghyuck looking. It was a comforting sight, if anything, but Donghyuck _knew_ Jaemin’s back would kill him if he spent the night like that. So he told Jeno, quietly, that it was okay. He should carry Jaemin back to their room and get some rest. Mark would be home soon, anyway.

Needless to say, he wasn’t home soon, and at some point during the night Donghyuck must’ve nodded off to sleep himself.

He stands up now, grimacing at the pain in his neck. He doesn’t think Mark has noticed him yet, can barely see him himself. But he can hear him, his rushed breathing, sounding close to whimpers. Donghyuck approaches slowly, with caution, like one would a wounded animal. Mark is leaning against the wall and as Donghyuck’s eyes finally adjust to the dark he can see that his eyes are closed.

“Mark hyung?” He calls out softly. Mark startles anyway, eyes opening and meeting Donghyuck’s.

“Hyuckie?” It sounds broken and that scares Donghyuck to the bone. “Why…”

“I fell asleep in the sofa,” he says, though that’s not the entire truth.

Mark nods, and then it’s quiet again. He’s looking at Donghyuck, almost longingly, and Donghyuck instantly opens his arms wide. Seconds later he’s being crushed in a tight hug. He’s always been good at sensing what Mark needs and right now that means mumbling sweet nothings in his ear as he hugs his best friend. Something has happened, something bad, but right now Mark Lee is upset and Lee Donghyuck would go to great lengths to change that.

At some point they end up in the sofa together, Mark looking impossibly small as he lies on Donghyuck’s chest. It’s a mirror of their past selves, except their positions have changed and now it’s Donghyuck comforting Mark instead of the opposite. He makes drawings on Mark’s back with his fingers, of a sun, then a moon, followed by some random scribbles. It seems to do the job, because some time later Mark’s breathing has finally slowed, syncing with Donghyuck’s. Neither of them are falling asleep anytime soon though, so once Donghyuck is certain Mark has calmed down enough to talk, he asks the inevitable question.

“What happened, hyung?” He whispers into Mark’s hair, making him shudder.

“I fucked up, Hyuck,” Mark admits, sounding alarmingly tearful, “I fucked up bad.”

Donghyuck hushes him, slowly beginning to the stroke his back again. “Whatever it is, we can fix it. Together, like we always do.”

Mark shakes his head and Donghyuck’s heart sinks. The crook of his neck is damp where Mark’s tears fell on his skin. He’s reminded of the conversation they had some weeks ago, when Mark gave him his lighter.

“Not this time,” Mark whispers, sounding so, so vulnerable.

“We _will_.” He doesn’t know what else to say. But if there’s one thing Donghyuck believes in, it’s them. It’s Mark.

He tries to focus on comforting him, but can’t fully keep the distress at bay. He’s aware that what Mark does is dangerous, but it’s always worked out for them in the past. Seems like they have finally run out of luck.

Pushing away that thought, he instead thinks of his fingers on Mark’s back. They move slowly, candidly, and he lets his mind go blank, devoid of any thoughts except of Mark here, safe. Then he realises, to his mortification, that the random scribbles he’s been drawing aren’t scribbles at all, but words. The same few words, over and over again. The realisation makes him stop, but as soon as he does Mark lets out a low whine. He languidly starts moving his hand again, careful not to let any more words spill from his fingers.

“He’s gonna come after me,” Mark whispers suddenly. A shiver runs down Donghyuck’s spine.

“Who?” He asks, afraid.

Mark doesn’t answer his question. “He’s gonna come after me,” he repeats, and then he’s pushing himself up until they are face to face. His eyes are filled with terror. “He’s gonna come after me and when he does, you guys need to be gone.”

“What?” Donghyuck exclaims, feeling anger well up.

“Nothing can happen to you,” Mark continues, “I won’t allow it.”

“Oh, fuck you, Mark.”

Mark flinches at his harsh words and Donghyuck instantly softens. He holds Mark in place, making sure he won’t run away.

“Look at me,” he says. Mark eventually complies. Donghyuck holds his gaze, steady. “I’m not leaving you, you hear me? Not ever.”

“But—”

“No buts. When you allowed me to come with you, it was on the condition that you would consider me as an equal, remember?”

Grudgingly, Mark nods.

“I will stay by your side and we’ll figure it out together. If you don’t want to involve the others, that’s your call. They can stay with Chenle if necessary, they’ll be safe there. But don’t you _dare_ decide what’s best for me.”

Just like that, it’s settled. Mark rests his head on Donghyuck’s chest again, inhaling his scent. Donghyuck knows this is something they will have to discuss in detail later, but for now, he lets Mark rest. They both need it.

He was supposed to call Renjun.

Renjun, or maybe Jeno. Jaemin, even. But when a middle aged guard presses cellphone in his hand, telling him he has five minutes tops, his fingers betray him.

They press the numbers that he’s known by heart since he was twelve and he doesn’t even realise until the phone starts ringing. It’s daunting, listening as each ring comes and goes. Time seems to crawl in that moment and Donghyuck’s eyes are transfixed on the clock hanging on the wall. A full minute passes when there’s a _click_ , and he waits with bated breath.

_“You have reached the voicemail of…”_ A pause.

“Mark Lee, I can’t pick up right now, so—” Faint giggles. “Hyuck! Stop laughing! Anyway, you can leave a message after the beep.”

In the background. “ _You never listen to those anyway._ ”

“Yes, I do! Sometimes I just—”

“ _Beep_.”

The phone falls from his hand. He doesn’t look up at the cop’s loud complain, doesn’t hear him shout. His vision is blurry and he can’t quite hear right, like he’s underwater and being dragged down, down, down, until he’s gasping for air but the only thing to fill his lungs is the salty seawater.

“Kid, you need to calm down.”

He flinches when a cautious hand is placed on his shoulder, turning his head towards the voice. The disgruntled cop from before is now looking at him with something like concern in his eyes, though Donghyuck can’t quite make out his features through his own tears. He tries to listen to the voice telling him to breathe, but all it does is send another stab through his chest because _he did this_. It’s all his fault and up until now he’s been able to delude himself into thinking this is all some fucked up dream but it’s _not_ and nothing hurts more than that realisation.

He had cried, that night, but it wasn’t like this. It’d been quiet, not fully believing what had happened. It had mostly been the shock, the fear coursing through his veins until it found its way to his tear ducts. This is completely different; it’s raw and painful and so fucking real. He sobs until he physically can’t, until he’s sagged in his chair and the cop helps him walk back to his cell.

It’s silent except for the sound of Donghyuck’s heart racing in his chest. Mark’s plan had been shady from the beginning, but now he’s starting to understand why he kept withholding the details. There’s no way Donghyuck would’ve allowed him to go through with this otherwise, but there’s no time for a change of plans now. The threats have increases over the past few days, turned more sinister. The situation is dire and they need to do something.

Warm fingers pry his fist open and push something cold and hard in his hand. Mark’s eyes are wide with fear as they look into his, but Donghyuck can see he’s trying to stay strong. Composed. He can see the determination all over his face. It almost makes him smile.

“You need to shoot me.” Urgent. Pleading.

For a moment, the world is frozen.

Then it scatters.

Donghyuck shakes his head. He can’t do this. Mark can’t ask this from him. Anything but this.

“I’ll be fine,” Mark promises. His voice breaks with the lie. “Please, Donghyuck.”

Not _Hyuck_ or even _Hyuckie_. It feels like a slap in the face. His eyes sting.

“Where?” It’s not an agreement, not yet. It’s nothing but a broken whisper.

Mark bites his lip, thinking. He must know Donghyuck wouldn’t just agree to anything.

“Outer thigh, left side,” he says after consideration. Donghyck nods curly.

The gun feels foreign in his hand, despite the years of practice. The sirens are loud, too loud. They don’t have much time left.

Donghyuck stands up, taking a few steps back. He rubs his eyes with his left hand. It comes back wet. He doesn’t know when he started crying.

“What about after?” Mark might be delirious from the pain. He might be unconscious. He might be—

Mark gives him a lopsided smile. It’s heartbreakingly sad, and Donghyuck’s heart _does_ break. “We’ve discussed this, Hyuckie. You know what to do.”

Something in him settles at the familiar nickname. He can do this. Mark will be alright. He always is.

And yet. When he raises the gun and aims, he hesitates. “Jisung?” He asks.

Mark closes his eyes and smiles, content. “He’ll be safe after this.”

Donghyuck nods shakily, though he knows Mark can’t see it.

A deep breath.

He pulls the trigger.

“We searched our files for ‘Mark Lee’, but found nothing.” Johnny observes him as he says this, gauging his reaction. “According to you he has a family. Surely, they’d have reported his disappearance?”

Donghyuck isn’t so sure of that, but stays quiet. He’s noticed by now that Johnny has an entirely different view on family than he does. Besides, it’s true the files exist. Donghyuck isn’t the first of them to get arrested, after all, but contrary to Mark he isn’t able to talk himself out of this one.

“What do you need his file for, anyway?” He says instead. He has a pretty good idea of the answer, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. “I can tell you all you need to know.”

That part is true. Donghyuck knows Mark Lee better than any file ever would.

“Whe— If his death,” Donghyuck flinches, “is confirmed, we will need to inform his family. Estranged or not.”

Anger flares up inside of Donghyuck. _He_ was Mark’s family. Donghyuck, and the others. The last thing Mark would’ve wanted is for his so-called father to get involved in this. Donghyuck would make them respect Mark’s wishes if he had to. It’s the least he can do to repent.

“I didn’t lie to you about his name,” Donghyuck says coldly. This is also true. For as long as Donghyuck has known him, he went by Mark Lee.

Johnny nods. He seems to believe him, but is clearly disappointed by this outcome. Meanwhile, Donghyuck cradles the name Mark had once confided to him close to his chest and vows to never speak it out loud.

Jisung has been going out a lot lately, and it’s starting to worry Mark. Donghyuck can tell by the way creases appear on his forehead whenever Jisung mentions he’s going for a walk later and the way Mark eyes him each time he gets home.

Still, Donghyuck knows better than to pry. Mark, apparently, does not.

“You’ve been going on a lot of walks,” he says, attempting to sound casual. Donghyuck snorts when Jisung nearly chokes on his slice of pizza.

“I guess?” Jisung answers, sounding apprehensive.

Mark hums, taking another bite of his pizza. “Is there a particular reason for that?”

Everyone is paying attention to the conversation now, eyes shifting between Jisung and Mark. The former is shifting in his seat, clearly becoming uneasier by the second.

“The weather is nice?” He sounds uncertain.

Unable to hide his amusement, Donghyuck joins the conversation. “Is that a question, Sungie?”

A soft pink dusts Jisung’s cheeks. “No, the weather is nice.”

Jaemin shrugs and continues eating, seemingly placated by the unconvincing excuse. Renjun, who’s been listening in silence up until now, speaks up. “He’s been hiding money in our room.”

Mark’s head snaps to Renjun. “What?”

At the same time, Jisung calls out, “hyung!” In any other circumstances, they would have cooed at his whine.

Truth to be told, Donghyuck hadn’t thought much of it up until now. But if Jisung has been getting money somewhere, it can hardly mean anything good. Especially seeing the hassle he’s been going through to hide it.

“Jisung,” Mark says, calmer than before. “What’s going on?”

Jisung stares down at his lap, where he’s fumbling with the edge of his sweater. “It’s nothing.”

“If it were nothing, you wouldn’t try to hide it from us,” Renjun argues.

They wait expectantly as Jisung purses his lips, thinking.

“I got a job,” he finally says.

Yeah, right. “Jisung, you’re thirteen. No way anyone would give you a job, that’s not even legal.”

His eyes meet Mark’s. Of course, there are other jobs one could take on at that age. They both know that well enough, but there’s no way Mark would let Jisung go up that path. Or any of them, for that matter. One person risking their life on a regular basis is already enough, thank you very much.

“It’s true,” Jisung insists. That’s when he notices the look on Mark’s face. “It’s not anything dangerous, hyung. I’m not dumb.”

Not dumb, no, but young. And Donghyuck remembers all too well what that’s like.

“Where is this job?” He asks and watches as Jisung squirms.

“In the city, it’s nothing special.”

Jaemin grins. “So we can visit you while you’re working?”

Jisung instantly blanches, now white as a sheet. “That’s embarrassing, hyung,” he mumbles unconvincingly.

“Right,” Donghyuck says, grabbing a piece of Mark’s pizza. He pointedly ignores his protests. “Well, as long as you’re sure it’s safe.”

He can feel four incredulous gazes on him, but only meets Jisung’s. A smile creeps on his face and his shoulders sag in visible relief. “It is, promise.”

“Hyuck,” Mark starts, a warning, but Donghyuck shuts him up with a glare.

“Then we’ll drop it.”

The silence that follows is tense, but Jisung is smiling giddily. Renjun is glaring daggers at Donghyuck, which doesn’t come as a surprise with how protective he is of Jisung. Nevertheless, Donghyuck pays it no mind.

It’s later that evening when Mark pulls him aside, careful not to catch any of the other boys’ attention. Donghyuck has been expecting this and follows easily.

“So, mind telling me what you’re planning?” Mark asks once they’re standing in the empty corridor.

“Me? Planning something? Have you no faith in me, Mark Lee?” He says with an over-exaggerated pout. The blank stare he gets in return speaks volumes.

Donghyuck sighs, dropping the facade. “You aren’t gonna stop worrying till you know and Jisung won’t tell us, so.” He shrugs. “Let him believe he’s won and next time he goes out I’ll follow.”

Mark seems reluctant to agree, concern painted all over his face. “What if it’s dangerous?”

“He only goes out in broad daylight, how dangerous can it be?” This is enough to convince him for now. Mark nods, though he still doesn’t look happy about it.

“Be careful, okay?”

Donghyuck smiles, pulling Mark in a short hug. “Always.”

“Does the name ‘Zhong Chenle’ ring any bells?”

Donghyuck prays Johnny doesn’t notice his surprise. _How can he know?_

“Never heard of him,” he says apathetically.

Johnny screws up his eyes, clearly measuring Donghyuck up. “He’s been spotted around the building multiple times.”

He doesn’t need to specify which building. Donghyuck mentally curses Chenle and his impulsive will to help wherever he can. One wrong move and they could lose everything.

“So?” He tries to sound nonchalant.

“He has attempted to enter the building, which is obviously prohibited. The investigation is still ongoing.”

_Well shit._ “What does that have to do with me?”

Johnny shrugs. “I was hoping you’d tell me. Zhong is a bright kid with an even brighter future ahead of him, so what business does he have there?”

“Like I said, I’ve never heard of the guy. Your guess is as good as mine.”

With a sigh, Johnny stands up. “Well, he claims he didn’t know the place was off-bounds, so. He’s not getting into any trouble, not unless he tries to pull this again.”

He won’t. Chenle may be impulsive at times, but he’s not stupid. Even if he were, the others would stop him.

Donghyuck releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding and Johnny smiles. A part of him urges Donghyuck to repeat that Chenle is a stranger to him, but he somehow knows it doesn’t matter. He’s safe. They’re all safe.

“I’m going for a walk!” Jisung says, already opening the door. Then he pauses. “I mean, to work.”

Renjun rolls his eyes without looking up from his book. He’s still grumpy about this entire situation, Donghyuck can tell.

He hasn’t told anyone but Mark about his plan, though he’s sure Jaemin and Renjun have their suspicions. The former knows him too well and the latter, well, he somehow always knows.

Mark gives him a pointed look from across the room and Donghyuck answers with a slight nod. He waits approximately two minutes before he gets up.

“Where are you going?” Renjun asks, though he sounds like he already knows. Donghyuck flashes him a teasing grin. “For a walk.”

He doesn’t stick around any longer, only pausing to put on a cap before leaving. Jisung is already out of sight when Donghyuck steps outside, but this doesn’t discourage him. There aren’t many places he could go to and something tells Donghyuck he wasn’t lying when he said his job was in the city. Sure enough he spots Jisung’s familiar figure in the distance after a couple of minutes. Donghyuck hardly needs to try to keep himself hidden, it’s obvious Jisung isn’t expecting anyone to follow him. He can only hope this won’t break the Jisung’s trust too much.

Once they reach the city, Donghyuck risks walking closer. The streets are filled with people and it’s easy to blend into the crowd. This also means it’s harder to keep track of Jisung, but this isn’t Donghyuck’s first time following someone. At some point Jisung takes a turn and Donghyuck fears he’s lost him. He looks around wildly, standing on the tip of his toes to look over other people’s heads and probably making a complete fool out of himself.

He gets lucky; he manages to catch sight of Jisung’s blue jumper right as he disappears into a small shop. Donghyuck subtly approaches it, pulling his cap lower to avoid getting noticed through the window. From here he can see that it’s not a shop, but an ice cream parlour. Through the window he watches as Jisung walks to the counter.

_Is it possible that he was telling the truth after all?_

But then Jisung leaves the counter and walks towards a table occupied by another boy. Or man, maybe, Donghyuck can’t be sure. All he can see is the back of his head, wavy black hair.

_Not a job, then. A meeting._

Donghyuck curses under his breath. He knew Jisung was hiding something, yet a part of him had still hoped he was being truthful.

Without wasting another second he enters the parlour. He doesn’t go to the counter, instead taking a seat at an empty table behind Jisung. Taking an order would risk Jisung recognising him. He opens a menu, pretending to look at the options as he strains his ears to catch their conversation.

“...used to it. It’s not that bad, really.” Donghyuck briefly glances up to match a face to the voice. As he’d first thought, the person talking to Jisung is a young boy. That just made this entire thing weirder.

_Maybe it’s someone he works with?_

But their conversation doesn’t seem to allude to any job at all. It’s pleasant and casual, like they’re just two friends meeting up for coffee.

Then something the boy says grasps his attention. “How much do you need?”

He can see Jisung shaking his head. “Chenle, I can’t…”

The boy — Chenle — silences him with an exasperated look. “We’ve had this conversation before, Sungie. I’m okay with it, as long as it helps you. It makes me happy, if anything, and it’s not like they’ll notice a few grants missing.”

The use of Jisung’s nickname takes him by surprise. Up until a year ago Renjun had been the only one allowed to call him that. Jisung wouldn’t tolerate it unless he fully trusted the person in question.

“Can I take your order, sir?”

Donghyuck jumps, actually _jumps_ , in his seat, startled by the cheerful voice next to him. The employee, a young girl with red hair, bows her head, eyes wide. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you!”

“It’s fine,” Donghyuck says, embarrassed that she’d been able to catch him off guard like that. “I’ll just—”

“He’ll take the mint chocolate ice cream.”

_Shit._

He turns to see Jisung looking at the waitress with a sugary sweet smile. Behind him, Chenle watches the exchange in silence, eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Donghyuck knows he should apologise, maybe beg for mercy. Unfortunately, he is, well, him, so he doesn’t.

“You know I hate that flavour,” he says instead, pouting.

Jisung’s smile doesn’t falter. It’s starting to become scary. “I’m aware.”

He pulls out a chair from an empty table and puts it at the one he’s sitting at with Chenle. “Why don’t you join us, hyung?”

The request feels like a threat, so Donghyuck sits. Chenle is eyeing him curiously, chin propped on the palm of his hand. At least he seems harmless.

From what he heard of their conversation, Donghyuck is starting to think that maybe they really did worry for nothing. Still, it’s too early to let his guard down.

Once he’s settled down, Chenle grins, eyes sparkling. “So, which one are you?”

Donghyuck glances over at Jisung. Has he seriously told this stranger everything?

“Don’t look at me like that, I never gave any names or details,” Jisung mumbles, settling Donghyuck’s worries.

“Donghyuck,” he introduces himself.

Chenle gives him a blank look until Jisung leans over to whisper something in his ear. His eyes grow wide and the grin returns at full force.

“Oh! I’ve heard so many things about you!” Chenle is basically vibrating in his seat at this point.

“I wish I could say the same of you, Chenle,” he say slowly.

Chenle’s smile doesn’t waver one bit. Jisung, on the other hand, coughs awkwardly. “Right. I should explain.”

Leaning back in his chair, Donghyuck crosses his arms, waiting.

“I know Chenle from when I was younger;” he says. Donghyuck raises his eyebrows, surprised. Neither Renjun or Jisung ever talked much about their past, and he respected that.

“Not like you and Jaemin hyung,” Jisung quickly adds. “We only met for a day, really. The details don’t matter, but we got along great and, well.”

He glances over at Chenle, smiling softly. It’s not a look Donghyuck is used seeing on his face, but it’s a good look. Makes him appear more like his age.

“A few months back we ran into each other again. I really did go out on a walk that day,” he says sheepishly. “I didn’t immediately recognise him, but he did. We caught up and decided to keep in contact.”

It’s a cute story, but some parts are still missing. “What about the money?”

“That’s entirely my doing,” Chenle says as he sits upright, letting his hands fall in his lap. “Jisung told me about your situation, or at least gave me a vague idea of it. I filled in the blanks.”

Donghyuck is pleasantly surprised by the note of defence in Chenle’s voice as he says this. It seems like he really does care about Jisung.

“My parents are… well off, to put it lightly.” Donghyuck notices that he’s wringing his hands in a clear sign of nervousness. “I just want to help, I don’t ask for anything in return. Jisung didn’t accept the money at first, but I insisted.”

It seems too good to be true, really. But on the other hand, don’t they deserve some luck for once?

“Won’t your parents notice?” Donghyuck asks, still hesitant to accept.

Chenle snorts, but it’s devoid of amusement. “They gotta notice they have a son first.”

It’s a sentiment Donghyuck recognises. For a moment he looks at Chenle and sees Mark instead, younger and far more insecure than he is now.

“But to answer your question, I can guarantee you they won’t. This,” he says, placing a wallet on the table, “is nothing to them. Even if they were home long enough to notice money disappearing, I can just say I blew it on new clothes, or games. They wouldn’t suspect a thing.”

With those words they fall back in silence. Both Jisung and Chenle are watching him expectantly, waiting for a reaction.

Finally, Donghyuck smiles. “It’s absolutely lovely to meet you, Chenle.”

Just like that, the tension dissipates. They’re both grinning so hard it must make their cheeks hurts, but it warms Donghyuck’s heart nonetheless.

“Now, Jisung has been awfully rude keeping you all for himself.” Jisung, who was about to eat a spoonful of his molten ice cream, promptly chokes, making Chenle giggle loudly. “There are some other people who I’m sure would love to meet you.”

He means it. Chenle has an aura of innocence and youth that most of them have lost over the years and Donghyuck can already tell he’ll fit right in.

The boy in question gulps nervously, but nods. Beneath the nervousness, Donghyuck can see his excitement shining through. They finish their ice creams — except for Donghyuck, who can’t stand to take more than one bite of his before pushing it towards Jisung — and then head back together.

Jisung and Chenle are hunched together all the way home, talking in hushed voices, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind. It’s nice to see Jisung come out of his shell so easily, without his usual uneasiness. No, Chenle will be good for them. Donghyuck is certain of it.

“I’ve been told you didn’t use that phone call you requested,” Johnny says that afternoon, voice edged with caution.

Donghyuck feels the urge to laugh. A cop being careful not to hurt _his_ feelings? Not something he’d ever expected to witness.

“They didn’t pick up,” is all he says, trying to come across as casual. It’s futile. Judging by the way Johnny is looking at him, he knows all about what happened last night.

Johnny clears his throat, then continues in the same gentle tone, “you can try again later today?”

Donghyuck thinks about this. Is he ready to tell the others what has happened? They must already suspect something, if Chenle has been hanging around that building.

Maybe his fingers would betray him again and call Mark instead.

“Maybe another day,” he answers with a thin smile. He can only hope they’ll be able to forgive him for this on top of all the other things he’s messed up recently.

The two of them are alone when Mark brings it up again. They haven’t talked about it since the day after they fell asleep on the sofa together, when Mark had explained the severity of the situation.

He’s been quiet all day, but Donghyuck hasn’t bugged him about it. Patience has never been one of his fortes, but Mark forms an exception on many things when it comes to Donghyuck.

“I think I’ve got it figured out,” Mark says out of nowhere.

Donghyuck looks up from his phone, pausing the game. It’s a cheap burner phone, but much to his delight Donghyuck had discovered some games on it. He’s been trying to beat his own highscore on Snake for about an hour now, to no avail.

“Got what figured out?” He asks. Mark is avoiding his gaze by flipping through his old notebook, in which he has been writing for the past ten minutes.

“How to get rid of him.”

Realising what he’s talking about, Donghyuck sits up straighter in his seat. “Dongsun, you mean? You have a plan?”

Mark scratches the back of his neck, looking unsure. “More or less.”

“I know you’d think of something,” Donghyuck says. He’s smiling brightly, glad that they’d be able to forget about the entire thing soon.

Much to his confusion, Mark doesn’t seem to share his enthusiasm. Donghyuck moves to sit next to him, to which Mark instantly snaps his notebook shut.

“Tell me, then,” he continues. “What’s the plan, leader Lee?”

When this still doesn’t pull a smile from Mark, his own fades.

“Do you trust me?”

The question is sudden, frantic. Donghyuck frowns. “You know I do, hyung.”

Mark nods, still not looking him in the eyes. By instinct, Donghyuck grabs his hand. This seems to relax him a bit, though Donghyuck can now feel him quivering.

“I can’t tell you.” He finally meets his gaze and Donghyuck can see the pools of guilt in his eyes. “Not all of it.”

“I don’t get it.” There have never been secrets between them.

“You need to trust me, Hyuck. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I will need your help for this,” he says, voice small.

Just like that, Donghyuck gives in. “I’ll do anything, you know that.”

“Even if it’s bad?” Mark’s expression betrays nothing, but Donghyuck can tell he’s hopeful.

“Anything,” he repeats softly. “For you, anything.”

“Lee Taeyong,” Johnny says, jaw clenched as he looks down at the file in his hand.

That’s Donghyuck’s cue to talk, but he simply cocks his head to the side. “What about him?”

The answer seems to take Johnny by surprise.

“You know him?” He asks. Donghyuck can read between the lines. _‘You admit it?’_

“Anyone who knows their way around here does, if only to know who to stay away from.”

Johnny nods in silent agreement. It’s evident that he’s familiar with the name as well. “Did you? Stay away from him, I mean?”

Donghyuck weighs the question. “Sometimes,” he says eventually, purposefully keeping it vague.

Johnny isn’t taking it. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Would it hurt to tell a fraction of the truth? Donghyuck isn’t sure, but it’s been days of questioning and he’s getting tired.

“It means that when necessary we helped each other, but besides that we stayed out of his way. We’re kin. People like us need to have each other’s back.” He doesn’t know why he tries to explain. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Johnny purses his lips, but doesn’t argue. “Is Lee Taeyong involved in any of this?”

For the second time, Donghyuck hesitates. It’s only a split second, a flash of doubt Johnny can’t possibly have spotted.

“No,” he says, tone firm. “Haven’t seen the guy in months.”

They pull into the driveway a couple hours before dawn. The car had taken a while to get started, but Donghyuck is simply grateful they didn’t have to walk. This location is miles further than the previous place.

Donghyuck lets out a low whistle when he spots the house. “Taeyong did quite an upgrade.”

Mark hums absentmindedly, pulling out the car keys. He’s been quiet all the way, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind. He’d spent the ride trying to find a radio station that isn’t just white noise. Eventually he had settled on what he thought was an old Taylor Swift song, but could also just be random excerpts from different songs. Mostly, it was just white noise.

The house in question is more of a villa, really. Donghyuck wonders, not for the first time, how Taeyong gets away with even half the shit he pulls. And, more importantly, when he’ll finally show them the ropes.

“We could do with a place like that too, hyung,” he says jokingly. Mark doesn’t look like he heard him.

They step out of the car, making their way to the entrance. The lights are still on and the door opens before they get the chance to knock.

“Mark, Haechan,” Lee Taeyong greets them, stepping aside to let them enter.

Mark enters first, and Taeyong doesn’t miss the opportunity to ruffle his hair, much to the younger’s dismay. Donghyuck simply nods in greeting and Taeyong offers him a small smile. Oddly enough the guy has a huge soft spot for Mark, but then again Donghyuck can’t blame him.

“Do you have it?” Mark asks once he’s settled into the luxurious sofa.

Donghyuck could fall asleep right there and then and nothing would be able to wake him. He can’t recall the last time his body has rested upon something this comfortable. The answer is probably never.

“I do.” Taeyong doesn’t budge. “Are you sure about this, Mark?”

This sparks Donghyuck’s interest. Mark hasn’t told him anything except that they needed to see Taeyong for his plan to work. Donghyuck thought they would just pick up the usual kind of gear, but it seems he was mistaken.

“Hyung.” Mark says, keeping a steady eye on Taeyong.

“Right, okay. But you know the deal. If things go south, I didn’t have anything to do with it.” By now Donghyuck is used to Taeyong’s talks. In all honesty he thinks the guy is all bark and no bite, because there’s obvious concern on his face as he tells Mark this.

“Of course.”

Taeyong reaches for something behind him before pulling it out so that they both have a clear view of it.

Donghyuck freezes.

He opens his mouth, ready to voice his disbelief, when a warm hand is placed on his thigh, pressing softly. Even without looking at him, Mark manages to calm Donghyuck down, if only for a bit. He takes a deep breath, trying not to freak out as he observes the silver gun. The light from the chandelier reflects from it, making it look more like expensive jewelry than a deadly weapon.

In his head, he hears Mark’s voice. _Trust me._

And damn him, he does.

Taeyong and Mark discuss the workings of the gun, but the rest of the conversation flies over his head. He can’t shake off the uneasiness that comes with this entire situation. More than once he catches Taeyong looking his way, but the stubborn part of him chooses to ignore it. It’s only when Mark starts side glancing him as well that he excuses himself to get some water. Taeyong offers to do it for him, but Donghyuck shakes his head, asking for the directions instead. He knows when he’s unwanted, and it’s obvious to anyone that Taeyong was simply being polite.

That’s how he finds himself alone in a kitchen almost bigger than his home at 4 A.M., sipping on cool water.

“Morning, Haechan.”

He startles at the sudden voice, causing him to spill water over his shirt.

“Shit, sorry,” Yuta says, grabbing a napkin and handing it over. “I thought you heard me enter.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention.”

He doesn’t ask why Yuta is awake at this hour, he’s pretty sure he knows anyway. Not that it’s necessary. He wasn’t planning on leaving the kitchen any time soon.

“I see it’s your turn to take distracting duty today,” he says despite himself, because he enjoys causing trouble.

Yuta flinches before laughing awkwardly. “Kids these days really are getting too smart, huh.”

Donghyuck snorts as he places the empty glass in the sink. “I’m nineteen, don’t think you can call me a kid anymore.”

“I’m still in denial,” Yuta says in a serious tone. Then, he bursts into a bright grin. “In my eyes you’ll forever be little Haechannie who attempted to fight Taeyong the first you met him.”

Donghyuck flushes, mortified. “Please don’t remind me.”

“How can I not? It’s probably the highlight of my life.”

“Then you must have a pretty sad life,” Donghyuck retorts.

Yuta barks out a laugh before they settle in comfortable silence.

He’s not sure why he says it. Maybe these past few months have been weighing him down more than he thought, or maybe it’s simply the lack of sleep. Truth is, he’s feeling anxious and vulnerable and Yuta, despite hardly even being a friend, has always been easy to talk to.

“He used to tell me everything, you know?” He says quietly. Yuta keeps quiet, and he’s thankful for that.

“Lately that’s changed, and I don’t know if it’s my fault. If maybe I did something to push him away.”

“Haechan…” It’s not pity, but it’s close.

“I just want to be able to help.” He hates how this affects him, to the extent that it has him laying his soul bare in front of Lee Taeyong’s partner in crime, of all people.

“You _are_ helping him, though,” Yuta says with confidence. “Maybe not in the same way as you’re used to, but you are. You accompanied him here, didn’t you?”

Donghyuck nods pathetically. “I just wish he would let me in.”

“I’m sure he has his reasons.”

“I know.” Donghyuck stares down at the tiled floor. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Yuta pulling himself up on the counter, swinging his legs once he’s seated.

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?”

It’s a stupid question and Donghyuck doesn’t mind letting his expression show that. The look he gives Yuta makes him laugh out loud.

“No,” he continues, still chuckling, “you know what I mean.”

Donghyuck shifts his weight from one foot to another. The room suddenly feels too warm for comfort, just like his face.

“I don’t think I do,” he says shortly, hoping Yuta would drop it.

No such luck.

“Come on, Haechan.” Donghyuck sighs, lifting his faze to meet Yuta’s. His eyes are sincere and it only makes Donghyuck’s discomfort grow. “You are many things, but oblivious isn’t one of them.”

He shrugs. He can be if he wants to. This is different, though. Denying your own feelings is much harder to do than denying those of others.

“It doesn’t really matter,” he says in the end, hating how tired he sounds.

“What? Of course it does!” Yuta looks at him like he’s ridiculous, and maybe he is. Just a little. “I’m willing to bet from the way he looks at you that he feels the same way.”

Donghyuck smiles wryly. “I know.”

Yuta is right: he isn’t oblivious. It’s been years since he started noticing the way Mark would stumble over his words if Donghyuck gets too close, and even longer since he realised he’s the only person Mark ever allows to get this close in the first place. Sure, he pushes him away more often than not, but at the end of the day Donghyuck is the one he goes to for comfort. It’s hard to miss his flushed face, making him look even cuter, or the way he completely relaxes when he’s in Donghyuck’s arms.

No, he isn’t oblivious, but he does know that some things are better left unsaid.

“You know? And you’re still not making a move?”

Donghyuck scrunches his nose. “Don’t say it like that.”

“I don’t get you,” Yuta says, still sounding incredulous. “Does _he_ know?”

“I doubt it,” Donghyuck admits.

“Don’t you think he deserves to?”

_You don’t get it,_ he wants to say, but he knows how childish that sounds.

“Like I said before, it doesn’t matter.” And it doesn’t, not in the grand scheme of things.

Yuta opens his mouth, most likely to protest, when it suddenly morphs into a smile instead. He’s looking at something over Donghyuck’s shoulder, and Donghyuck turns around to see Mark leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed. There’s a satisfied smile on his face, but he looks tired.

“You ready to go?” He asks and Donghyuck’s heart skips a beat.

“Yeah.”

Offering Yuta a short wave goodbye, he follows Mark back to the car. He doesn’t catch sight of Taeyong again, not that he wants to. He’s fine with letting Mark deal with him, thank you very much.

“Did you manage to get everything you need?” He asks once they’re seated in the car again.

Mark nods stiffly. It takes one glance down for Donghyuck to see the gun attached to his hip. He seems uncomfortable with it, and Donghyuck can’t blame him.

“Are you gonna tell me what you need that for?”

With a turn of the keys Mark starts up the car, which doesn’t fight back this time, thankfully.

“It’s assurance.” Mark says.

Donghyuck frowns. “For what, exactly?”

The corner of Mark’s lips curls up in a rueful smile. “In case everything goes to shit.”

Discomfort settles at the bottom of Donghyuck’s stomach. It’s all he can do to hope that they’ll never have to use it.

As soon as Donghyuck spots the look on Johnny's face, he knows he isn't going to like this session.

"I'm sorry, Donghyuck," Johnny says, lips forming a grim line. Donghyuck can already feel what's coming. "It's time we talk about what happened that night."

_Blood. A red lighter in his hands. The scorching heat of the fire behind him._

His first instinct is to refuse. But he knows he'll have to face it eventually, if he ever wants to get out of here. He _needs_ to get out of here. The others are relying on him, now.

"What do you want to know?" He asks, fully aware of how lifeless he sounds.

Johnny is avoiding his eyes, looking unsure for once. Not for the first time, Donghyuck is amazed by the way he treats him. In a way it almost reminds him of how Taeyong treats Mark, though he pushes that thought away as soon as it appears.

"Maybe we could start with why you did it?"

Donghyuck's jaw drops. He can't help it. _Surely, he doesn't think...?_

Out loud, he says, "what."

The obvious discomfort on Johnny's face increases a tenfold.

"Look, Donghyuck," Johnny starts, sounding like he's walking on eggshells. Donghyuck almost wishes he'd go back to calling him 'Lee'.

"The lighter used to set fire to that building was found in your hands. We have you on camera, leaving the building minutes before the explosion, holding that same lighter. Our teams have confirmed that the fire couldn't have occurred due to an electrical hazard."

With every word leaving Johnny's mouth, Donghyuck feels his world break to pieces a bit more. He can't focus, the only thing his mind will register are those words, going on and on. Telling him it's his fault.

_I didn't kill him,_ he thinks.

The image of Mark comes to his mind, the last time Donghyuck had seen him. There was blood pouring from his thigh and tears were streaming down his face. In his panic, Donghyuck had pressed his hands to the wound, trying to make it stop. The scream that escaped Mark's lips still haunts him.

_I didn't kill him_ , he repeats. _It's not my fault._

It's becoming harder to believe.

"It's not looking good for you, Donghyuck," Johnny continues, as if Donghyuck's life isn't falling apart already. "That's why I need you to tell me what happened."

"I didn't kill him," Donghyuck whispers. His voice wavers and his eyes are stinging.

Johnny's eyes soften. "I'm not saying you did."

_Liar._ Donghyuck just shakes his head.

"What I told you is what we're suspecting so far, but we're still looking for concrete evidence. It might be easier if we have a clue what to look for."

"I don't understand," Donghyuck says, but he isn't referring to Johnny's words.

Of course, Johnny doesn't know this and proceeds with an explanation which Donghyuck quickly cut off.

"No, not that," he dismisses, mind racing. "What you said earlier, about the cameras."

He can hear Mark's voice in his head. _He'll meet you there, it's basically a blind spot. That building has been empty for so long, no one ever bothered to hang cameras around._

"Are you sure they have me on tape in front of the building? Wasn't it further down the street, or something?"

Johnny shakes his head, clearly lost on what Donghyuck's getting at. "It wouldn't be as compromising otherwise."

Donghyuck gasps. _Not as compromising._ Mark refusing to tell him his plans. Asking Donghyuck to trust him. That damned lighter. _I want you to keep it safe._ The look on his face when he leaned it, full of love and regret.

_'Please forgive me'_

Distantly, he can hear Johnny calling out for him. It doesn't matter.

He's laughing, hard, almost hysterical. He's laughing at the absurdity of it all, of how stupid he's been. How many more lies has Mark told him?

There's a familiar wetness on his cheeks, and maybe he isn't laughing at all. He might’ve been able to prevent all of this, if only he hadn't blindly trusted Mark. Maybe if he'd asked more questions, if he forced answers out of him, Mark would have given in eventually.

It doesn't matter, really. Nothing does anymore.

He doesn’t understand, and at this point he fears Mark has taken his secrets to the grave with him.Now all that’s left is for Donghyuck to live with the consequences.

Donghyuck wakes up to Chenle screaming and someone throwing himself on top of him.

He cracks his eyes open.

"What the fuck," he mumbles, before closing his eyes again. The form on top of him — Jaemin, his mind helpfully supplies — shakes him aggressively before trying to pull him up.

"Stop," Donghyuck whines in protest, attempting to hide himself under his blanket.

"Hyung, get up!" So Jisung has invaded his personal space as well. Great.

"You're keeping all of us waiting, Donghyuck." Renjun.

He shifts, turning his head, before screaming into his pillow.

This makes Jeno laugh and, oh, of course, they're all standing here.

"Since when do we get up early," he complains, but lets himself be pulled up by Jaemin.

Everyone seems to be in a good mood this morning, smiling brightly. It'd be a heartwarming sight, if only Donghyuck had been able to catch his 10 hours of sleep. But other than that it's weird, because he knows for a fact that at least half of his friends have a worse morning temper than him.

When he sees that breakfast has already been served — omelettes, since when do they eat omelettes? — he finally break. "Did we win the lottery or something?"

Jeno snorts from besides him, but doesn't answer.

"Mark hyung has a surprise for us!" Chenle announces, voice trembling with excitement.

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. This is the first time he hears of this.

Now that he mentions it, Mark is the only one who isn’t present. “Where is he?”

“He had to ‘get some things ready’,” Jisung says with finger quotes.

It’s too early for any of this weirdness. Donghyuck serves himself of an omelette and is about to dig in when Jisung adds,”he left after making breakfast, but it shouldn’t take too long.”

Donghyuck pauses, staring at his omelette with new suspicion. “Mark made these?”

“I was shocked as well,” Renjun says with a smile, “but they’re surprisingly edible.”

Flashback to Donghyuck’s fourteenth birthday, when Mark tried to surprise him with breakfast but ended up almost burning down the hostel instead. Donghyuck shudders, before taking a tentative bite.

A bit overcooked, but it doesn’t appear poisonous.

“You’re so dramatic.” Donghyuck’s head turns up. While he’d been busy inspecting the omelette, Mark had returned.

“You gave me a reason to be suspicious,” he argues, not completely joking.

Mark rolls his eyes. “Like five years have passed, give me a break.” The tone is exasperated, but his smile betrays him.

“Never,” Donghyuck grin, then points his fork at him, “you’d get bored.”

Just as Mark is about to answer, Jaemin cuts in, “quit flirting and finish up, I want to see what Mark’s big surprise is.”

A flush rises to his cheeks and he ducks his head in the hope that the others would miss it. Judging by the subdued snickers, he fails. He finishes the rest of his omelette in silence while Chenle and Jisung try to get some hints out of Mark, but he keeps his lips sealed.

As soon as Donghyuck puts his plate away, the two youngest basically start bouncing where they stand.

“Okay, it’s outside so like, close your eyes?” Mark says, scratching the back of his neck.

The entire situation is silly in Donghyuck’s opinion, but he’ll go along with it. It’s cute how even years later, Mark still has dramatic tendencies when it comes to surprises.

They leave the house with their eyes closed, guided by Mark. Donghyuck almost trips, much to the others’ amusement.

“Can we look?” Chenle asks, and after another few seconds Mark agrees.

Donghyuck has to admit that the old pick up truck parked in front of their house does come as a surprise. The kids immediately squeal with excitement, getting in the back, and Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun are quick to join them. Mark looks at Donghyuck expectantly, but he merely crosses his arms with an amused smile.

“You can’t drive,” he states.

Mark gives him a sheepish grin. “Taeyong got me a licence.”

This doesn’t surprise Donghyuck one bit. Bland favoritism, is what it is, especially since he’s known Taeyong as long as Mark has.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you _can’t drive_.”

“How hard can it be?” Mark says with a shrug.

Much harder than expected, they soon find out. As soon as Mark starts up the car, which already took like ten minutes, it shoots backwards, nearly hitting a tree. Donghyuck is gripping onto his seat, glancing at the back to make sure no one fell out. Jeno’s face has blanched, causing for the others to giggle and Jaemin to let out a loud cackle. Straining his ears, Donghyuck hears Renjun say something along the lines of ‘if you gotta puke, make sure it’s in the other direction’ while pointing at Jaemin.

Donghyuck chuckles softly before startling again when the car brusquely moves forward. They’re off then, and for the rest of the ride Donghyuck holds on to his seat with an iron grip.

To his credit, Mark does get the hang of it quickly, though he’s definitely driving faster than he should and tends to only press the brakes last minute, making everyone, including himself, scream. He also refuses to tell them where they’re going, or how long it will take, so naturally Donghyuck takes it upon himself to bug him about it for the entire ride.

In the back, their friends had taken to loudly singing songs, most of it consisting of made up words because no one knows the lyrics. It’s a happy sight and a memory Donghyuck knows he’ll treasure for a long time. No matter how dumb he thinks Mark’s antics are, he can’t deny that this is the happiest he’s seen their friends in a while. Mark has been anxious lately and it has weighed down on all of them, despite Donghyuck being the only one knowing what caused Mark’s mood. The downside of being a family is that they know each other too well at times, and he knows that they’re waiting for Mark and him to open up to them. Donghyuck glances at Mark, whose eyes are fixed on the road. Unfortunately, it isn’t his call to make.

Jisung is the first to catch sight of the sea, gasping with excitement as he points it out. Many screams follow and Donghyuck can’t help but laugh, feeling genuine enthusiasm for the first time today as well. He’d only seen the ocean once, and it’s one of his most precious memories. Mark knows this, and the thought that maybe he chose this destination with Donghyuck in mind makes his heart flutter.

“Thank you,” he says softly when the yelling has subdued, and he hopes Mark can hear all his love and gratitude in those two words.

Maybe he does, because a lovely blush rises to his cheeks as he mumbles something about it not being a big deal. Donghyuck doesn’t press any further, but looks at the dark blue ocean ahead of them with a giddy smile.

As soon as they park in front of the beach, Jaemin jumps out of the car and runs towards the water, soon followed by the rest as they race to the ocean. Donghyuck hesitates to join in, wanting to wait for Mark.

“It’s alright, you can go,” Mark says, looking amused. Donghyuck must’ve been more obvious than he’d thought. “I’ll catch up to you.”

Donghyuck pouts and tells him to hurry up before running after his friends.

That day ends up being the best of Donghyuck’s life. They spend it messing around in the water, chasing each other and grasping the edge of a careless childhood they never truly got to experience. Mark joins in most of the time, though Donghyuck catches him observing fondly from the sidelines multiple times.

The sun is starting to set and exhaustion, the good kind, has settled in Donghyuck’s bones as he tries to catch his breath. Mark is sitting in the sand a bit further, watching with that dumb smile of his again, and Donghyuck heads his way before dropping onto the sand next to him.

“It’ll take years to get rid of all of that sand,” Mark says.

Donghyuck pulls a grimace, only now realising the he’ll be finding sand in his shoes for the next few days, if not longer. “It’s worth it, though.”

This makes Mark’s smile widen. “I’m glad.”

They watch in silence as the others play around. It’s clear that they’re getting tired too, and they’ll have to head home soon. Still, it looks like Mark is planning on letting them enjoy this moment for as long as possible.

Donghyuck glances his way, only to see that the smile has been replaced by a small frown as he bites his lower lip. There’s clearly something on his mind, but Donghyuck wait patiently for him to speak up.

Eventually, Mark does. “You’d do anything to protect them too, right?”

It’s an odd question, one that makes his heart sink with fear. Nonetheless, the answer is easy.

“Of course. This is our family.”

Mark’s mouth curls up ever so slightly and he nods. “I feel the same.”

Donghyuck gives him a few more seconds to explain what this is really about, but when he stays quiet he decides to ask himself.

“Why the sudden question?”

Hesitation is evident on Mark’s face, so Donghyuck places a hand on his and squeezes softly as reassurance. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

Donghyuck pauses, takes a breath, then nods. “Okay. Can you tell me now?”

His eyes are avoiding Donghyuck’s at all costs and he can already feel the familiar concern rising up in his chest.

“He’s been sending me photographs.”

A million questions race through Donghyuck’s head at this statement, but Mark continues before he can ask any of them.

“Dongsun, I mean.” He’s fidgeting, a sign that tells Donghyuck the situation is worse than Mark is making it seem.

“Explain,” he says, trying to keep his voice even.

“It started a while ago, and at first I thought it was a bluff but it’s getting worse every day.” He sounds frustrated and completely lost. Donghyuck scoots closer, placing a comforting arm over his shoulders. “They’re pictures of Jaemin, Renjun, all of them. All taken at moments when they should’ve been alone, when they clearly _thought_ they were alone.”

A shiver runs down Donghyuck’s spine. Fuck.

Mark’s gaze shifts to the ground when he continues. “He sends a lot of pictures of Jisung, especially. I’m afraid he’s the guy’s main target.” And god, if those words don’t make Donghyuck’s blood boil. What kind of monster threatens a child?

“We need to tell them.” He can’t stand the thought of something happening to any of them simply because they were oblivious to this entire situation.

Mark’s gaze turns stern. “You won’t.”

Donghyuck can’t believe what he’s hearing. “This is their lives we’re talking about, Mark.”

“Promise me right now, you won’t tell them.” His tone leaves no room for arguments, but that’s never stopped Donghyuck before.

“They deserve to know.”

“They’ll panic,” Mark counters and something about those words rubs Donghyuck the wrong way.

“Do you really have so little trust in them?” Their conversation up until now had become more heated with every sentence, but these words are spoken softly.

Just like that, all the fight seems to drain out of Mark’s body. He says, looking older than any twenty year old should. “That’s not what this is about and you know it.” His tone is pleading. “I told you I have a plan, I have this under control. Telling them will only put them in more danger.”

Donghyuck lets those words simmer, turns them over in his mind.

“Is that why you won’t tell me either?”

Silence.

“I see.” Not a lack of trust then. Just Mark and his complex, thinking it’s up to him alone to fix everything. “But I swear to god, Mark Lee, if this blows up in our faces just because you decided you can handle it all by yourself, I’m not forgiving you.”

It’s an empty threat, and they both know it. He appreciates that Mark nods solemnly anyway.

He decides to drop the topic and draws Mark closer, resting his chin on his shoulder as he looks back at their friends. Mark doesn’t pull away. The others have stopped running and are now lying on the sand as well, talking and laughing. A surge of protectiveness awakens in Donghyuck, and he knows that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. He will help, in whatever way Mark allows him to.

Donghyuck asks to use the phone the following morning. He's hurting, but he knows he's not alone in this. It's not something he can hold off any longer.

He puts in the phone number, the right one this time. There's no time to mentally prepare himself before the cellphone is ringing and then, way too soon, there's a loud click.

Renjun picks up. "Hello?"

At the familiar sound of his voice, Donghyuck releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He blinks back tears, overwhelmed but refusing to cry any more than he already has this week.

"Who is this?" He can hear Renjun grow irritated and it's ridiculous how comforting it feels. "How did you get this number? If you don't identify yourself in the next five seconds I'm hanging up."

Donghyuck can't help it, he chuckles. It's a wet sound.

On the other line, Renjun grows quiet.

"Renjunnie," Donghyuck chokes out.

"Donghyuck, is that you?" Loud voices arise in the background, people calling out his name. He can hear Renjun shush them before getting back to him. "Christ, please tell me it's really you."

He smiles, leaning back against the wall. "It's me. Sorry it took me so long."

"You better be, you bastard," Renjun laughs, the relief in his voice palpable. "We thought you guys were dead or something. What phone are you calling from, anyway?"

The smile has slipped from his face.

“Are you guys safe?” He asks instead of answering.

Renjun must sense something is wrong, because the mirth in his voice has disappeared. “We’re still at the safe place, if that’s what you mean.”

They’re at Chenle’s. Good.

“What’s going on, Donghyuck?” The voices in the background grow quieter, without a doubt recognising Renjun’s concern. Donghyuck swears he can hear a soft voice asking ‘is Mark hyung there as well?’, and his heart nearly shatters to pieces. It sounds like Jisung.

“Send the little ones away for a bit, please,” he says in a hushed tone, so Chenle and Jisung don’t hear.

The phone is lowered and he can hear Renjun tell them something. There are protests, as expected, but less than a minute later there’s a door slamming shut.

Renjun is back. “Only Jaemin and Jeno are with me. Can I put you on speaker?”

“Only if you’re sure the others aren’t eavesdropping.” There’s a chuckle on the other side, but it sounds nervous.

“Hey, Hyuckie!” Jaemin greets, a bit too cheerfully. Donghyuck flinches, a stab of guilt going through him when he hears the familiar nickname.

“Hope you’re doing okay, Donghyuck,” Jeno’s comforting voice says through the telephone. “You worried us.”

“I let you down,” Donghyuck confesses, closing his eyes. _I can do this_.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wait,” Renjun’s voice cuts in before he can continue. “Give me your location, I’ll pick you up. We can talk in person.”

“Mark took the car.” It’s Jeno. “Like a week ago, don’t know where it’s parked. So unless Donghyuck is close that’ll be hard to do.”

Alarm bells go off in Donghyuck’s head at the new information. He doesn’t recall Mark telling him anything about that. For now, he locks the thought away with the intention of revisiting it later.

“I can’t come home,” he says, promptly interrupting Renjun and Jeno’s discussion.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asks. His voice is strangely serious, in a way Donghyuck isn’t used of hearing from him.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to come home any time,” he sniffles. “I’m sorry.”

“Donghyuck, you’re scaring us. Tell us what happened.”

He tries, really, but as soon as he opens his mouth he chokes on a sob. All he can do is apologise, hope one day he’ll deserve forgiveness.

“Hey, hey, Hyuck, you need to calm down.” Jeno’s voice again, soft and gentle. “Is Mark with you? Can he explain the situation?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, before realising they can’t see him. “Mark is gone, Jeno. He’s gone.”

For a moment there’s no sound except for Donghyuck whimpers as he tries to stifle his sobs.

“Gone?” Renjun asks, voice thin.

“It’s all my fault, I’m sorry, god, I’m so sorry.” His breathing is speeding up again and he hates this, hates feeling so weak but the pain, the guilt is too strong, too overwhelming.

“Donghyuckie, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Jaemin has taken the phone, is softly murmuring into it. “Can you tell us where you are? We need to know that you’re safe.”

He gasps, forcing himself to breathe. Talking is a challenge, but after a second try his voice comes out, strained. “I’m at the police station.”

Jaemin is patient with him, getting the story out of him one question at a time, and Donghyuck is grateful. It’s frustrating, the gaps in the story, the parts that don’t make sense. He knows it must be hard for the others too, but no one calls him out for it. They must know he’s as desperate for answers as they are.

"They can't hold you there forever, you're innocent," Renjun tries to reason.

"Right, not like they'll believe it. Even Johnny doesn't."

"Johnny?"

Donghyuck sighs. "It doesn't matter. I don't know shit, but it seemed unfair to leave you guys in the dark."

"A lot happened," Jeno says, "you were trying to process it first. There's no shame in that."

Shame is another thing Donghyuck has been feeling a lot lately. It's impossible to shrug off. "If you say so."

The sound of someone knocking on the door startles him. After a second Johnny's head appears.

"You've got about two minutes left," he says regretfully. Donghyuck nods in acknowledgement. Johnny already granted him far more time than he’s allowed to have, so he’s grateful.

"I'll have to leave soon."

There are some protests, but there's nothing he can do about it.

"Should I call Chenle and Jisung back? They'll be upset if they don't get the chance to say goodbye."

His lips curl into a lopsided smile. "Sure."

Things become a bit chaotic after that. There's yelling and heartfelt goodbyes and for the first time in days Donghyuck genuinely laughs. He feels a sting of regret when he finally puts down the phone.

He’s letting the others decide when and how to tell the little ones, if they do so at all. It's hard to gauge how they'll take it. Sure, they're resilient, but Mark is family. For all of them. Donghyuck had pretended not to notice that his friends were holding back tears when he told them, but now he lets himself remember the pain in their voices.

_I caused this._

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, tries to push the feelings that have been taunting him away. His family needs him. There and then he vows that he'll do everything in his power to get out of here as soon as possible. No matter what, they'll reunite again.

They'll be a family again and, together, they'll heal.

Donghyuck will make sure of it.

On days when they don’t lack anything, they wander through the city. Shopping is a luxury they can’t afford, but there’s no harm in trying things on and looking through fun little shops. One of their favourite places to visit on these occasions — family outings, Jaemin likes to jokingly call them — has come to be the animal shelter.

They can’t adopt a pet, though Donghyuck had tried to convince Mark otherwise back when it was just the two of them. He understood eventually; they simply weren’t living in conditions wherein they could guarantee the happiness of another living being. Years later, they ended up taking in three other ‘living beings’ anyway, but Donghyuck has decided not to point that out.

The animal shelter is run by an old lady, but more often than not Jeno is the one greeting them. To be completely honest, Donghyuck knows close to nothing about Jeno except that he works in the animal shelter every day of the week and that they’re the same age. That, and that he absolutely _adores_ these pets.

Mark has already expressed his regret of not being able to take one in to Jeno the first time they met, and that’s when Jeno had suggested it. It being that whenever they are in the neighbourhood, they can stop by and Jeno would allow them to play around with the animals. It is a perfect arrangement: the kids get to have some fun — though really, Donghyuck must admit it’s not just them — and so do the pets.

As soon as they enter the shelter, Jaemin perks up and looks around for a sign of Jeno. Donghyuck barely holds back a scoff. Jaemin tends to latch himself onto new people, ever the social butterfly. Chenle had been his victim for months before they met Jeno for the first time, and the latter promptly became the new target of Jaemin’s infatuation.

However, there seems to be no sign of him now, and Jaemin’s shoulders slump when he notices. Donghyuck rolls his eyes before linking their arms together to cheer him up.

Jisung already ran over to the puppies, a new addition since a couple of months ago, while Mark follows close behind to keep an eye on him. One of these days someone is going to try to steal a puppy, Donghyuck’s sure of it. His money would be on Jaemin if it weren’t for the fact that he’d avoid doing anything that could upset Jeno. So maybe Renjun then, if only to make Jisung happy.

Donghyuck is about to check out the stray cats that were brought in since they last stopped by, when he hears distant voices coming from the door behind the counter. Tuning out the others’ voices, he’s pretty sure he can hear Jeno. A look to his right confirms that Jaemin hears it, too. He doesn’t usually make a habit of eavesdropping on people, but Jeno is close to becoming one of their friends and it would be a lie to say he isn’t at least a bit curious about him. Jaemin must think the same, because he follows without protest.

In the staff room, Jeno seems to be speaking to the owner of the shelter, judging by the voices.

“I’m sorry, Jeno,” the woman says regretfully. “You’re a sweet boy, but I simply can’t afford it anymore, I need the space.”

“You don’t need to explain, ma’am, you’ve done so much for me already.” Though Jeno sounds earnest, his voice betrays him as it breaks. Jaemin looks alarmed by this and Donghyuck grabs his hand to stop him from doing something he’d regret.

“I wish I could—”

“It’s _fine_ , I promise. I know another place to stay, and I can still work here right?” It’s an obvious lie, and Donghyuck is willing to bet that the old woman knows it as well.

“Of course,” she answers sweetly.

Jaemin pulls on his arm, urging Donghyuck to go back. Sure enough, a minute later Jeno walks out of the staff room with bloodshot eyes and his usual bright smile.

“Oh,” he says when he spots them, stopping in his tracks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you guys enter!”

Mark greets him, reassuring him that it’s okay, they know their way around anyway. The rest soon follow with their own greetings, though Jaemin’s sounds significantly less enthusiastic than usual. Jeno clearly notices this, cocking his head to the side with a small frown.

Donghyuck decides to divert the subject by asking Jeno about the new cats, successfully making him launch into a long rant. He doesn’t miss the grateful look Jaemin shoots him as he nods along to whatever Jeno’s saying.

Truth to be told, he can’t put what he heard out of his mind either. Jeno is visibly upset, and from what Donghyuck can tell he doesn’t have a place to stay tonight. He wants to offer him a place, what’s one more after all, but he can’t do that without asking Mark first. Besides, there’s no way to know if Jeno would accept, they’re basically strangers. Maybe he’ll get angry at them for sticking their noses in his business.

Donghyuck is still weighing the pros and cons, trying to decide whether the risk would be worth it and if Mark would forgive him, when Jaemin speaks up.

“Do you want to stay with us?” He asks bluntly, interrupting Jeno mid-rant.

“Do I… What?” Poor Jeno looks utterly bewildered and Donghyuck would laugh if it weren’t for the three other pair of eyes that were now focused on them.

He elbows Jaemin, hissing his name in warning, but his friend only smiles brighter. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck and I heard you talking earlier. If you need a place to stay, we got one.”

Jeno’s frown deepens and for one terrifying moment Donghyuck fears that he’s about to get angry. Then, he the creases on his forehead smoothen out, and he sighs.

“I can’t possibly inconvenience you like that,” he says with regret. Donghyuck wants to assure him it’s fine, but he can’t be sure.

Surprisingly, Mark is the one who answers. “You got nowhere else to stay?”

Jeno shrugs, looking a bit sheepish. “I’ve been crashing on the sofa in the staff room for the past year or so. The work I do here makes up for it.”

When Mark’s questioning eyes meet Donghyuck’s, he simply shrugs. They don’t know Jeno that well, but from what they know he’s pretty harmless. Next to him Jaemin is beaming with excitement, and neither Renjun or Jisung seem to be against it.

“What time do you finish up?” Mark asks.

Jeno’s eyes immediately fill up with tentative hope, but he doesn’t speak up. Maybe he doesn’t dare to. He looks over at the clock on his right. “In about two hours.”

Mark nods, offering a kind smile. “I’ll meet you outside half an hour after, make sure you’ve gathered all your stuff.

The corners of Jeno’s lips turn up, turning his eyes into crescents. “Thank you! Mark, right? I don’t have any money right now, but considering I don’t stay here anymore I might—”

With a wave of his hand, Donghyuck dismisses his worries. “We’re all in the same boat here, and none of these losers pay rent.”

“That includes you,” Mark says with a raised eyebrow, to which Donghyuck shrugs in return.

Meanwhile, Jeno lets out a disbelieving laugh. “That’s amazing, I can’t thank you enough for this.”

Jaemin, who, surprisingly, has been able to stay quiet up until now, bounces forward to grab Jeno’s arm. “We’re the ones who are being blessed with the presence of _the_ Lee Jeno!”

His cheeks turn scarlet at Jaemin’s words, while the rest of them only watch with fond exasperation. Soon enough Jeno would get used to Jaemin’s dramatic tendencies, like they all did.

There’s a buzz in Donghyuck’s chest that comes with another addition to their little family. This isn’t the direction he’d thought this day would take when they’d entered the shelter, but he’s not about to complain.

Johnny is late.

It has been about ten minutes since Donghyuck was led to the interrogation room, but the officer has yet to show up. In the meantime, Donghyuck is tapping his fingers on the table to the tune of some song he’d heard on the radio a while ago.

From the hallway outside he can just barely make out Johnny’s voice, though he doesn’t understand what he’s saying. It takes about another minute or two before Johnny finally walks in, face set in a sullen expression.

Alarm spikes up in Donghyuck’s mind. “Did something happen?”

“You could say that,” Johnny sighs as he takes his seat. He has a paper in his hand again, so when he pushes it towards Donghyuck the question doesn’t surprise him. “Do you know him?”

The picture appears to be from an ID card, but the man on it is completely unfamiliar to Donghyuck. That’s a first, at least. “I’ve never seen him before,” he answers honestly.

This seems to perplex Johnny, as his frown deepens.

“He was found dead in his apartment this morning. Two shots to the chest, one of them hit his heart.”

“What’s that to me?” Donghyuck asks, genuinely curious. He doesn’t mean to come across as heartless, but a stranger’s death isn’t something he wants to worry about.

Johnny licks his upper lip in a nervous gesture, hesitating. “You might not know him, but he definitely knew you.”

This only makes Donghyuck’s confusion intensify. “What?”

“The police searched his apartment and they found pictures. A lot of them.”

Donghyuck has an inkling of where this is going, and it nauseates him.

“There were pictures of different kids we have yet to identify, but over half of them are of you.” Johnny frowns, as if the information disturbs him as much as it does Donghyuck. “It didn’t look like you knew you were being watched.”

He thinks of what Mark told him all those weeks ago. _He sends a lot of pictures of Jisung, especially._ Another lie to add to the pile, yet Donghyuck still can’t muster up any anger. It’s almost pathetic.

“I didn’t know,” he says, and there’s a quiver in his voice. At least this finally explains why Mark kept him in the dark, going as far as getting Donghyuck arrested to make sure he’d be safe.

“We’re still looking into it, but it looks like he was involved in some shady business,” Johnny continues.

“Wait,” Donghyuck cuts in, a thought suddenly forming. “What’s the dead guy’s name?”

Johnny is evidently confused by his urgency, but answers. “Kim Dongsun, he was the CEO of some big company but was suspected of fraud. Up until now we were never able to find any dirt on him, though. The guy had eyes everywhere.”

Donghyuck stops listening after he hears the name, instantly flooded by relief. He’s gone. He’s really gone.

_We’re free, Mark. You’re free._

His ears are ringing from the gunshot when he leaves the room, hands covered in blood. The fear that gripped him earlier has dissipated in a numbness as he blocks out the image of Mark screaming. Bleeding. Because of him.

Donghyuck glances out of a window on his way to the stairs. It’s dark outside, but there are street lamps illuminating the parking lot, which is abandoned except for a few cars. He doesn’t waste any more time looking, in a hurry to get this over with so he can return to Mark.

_He needs to believe I’m dead_ , Mark had told him urgently, pressing the gun in his hand. _I need you to make him believe it. Tell Dongsun I’m dead, and you killed me._

Donghyuck had refused first, shoving the weapon right back at him. But in the end the bitter truth is that Donghyuck will do anything for Mark Lee, even if it breaks his heart.

He barely remembers walking down the stairs, mind hazy with all that has happened over the past few hours. He feels anxious, his heart racing in his chest, and he instinctively reaches for his pocket. Mark’s red lighter feels cold to his touch, but it brings him a sense of calmth. For the first time he understands Mark’s odd habit of playing with the lighter whenever he’s nervous, and Donghyuck pulls it out to do the same. He exits the building right when he presses down on the lighter, which only creates a few sparks. On his second try a flame appears, and it’s hypnotising. Comforting, almost.

The flame dies as soon as he lifts his thumb. He looks around, searching the dark street. The lamp he’s standing under is one of the only ones here, but he manages to make out a figure on the other side of the road. It startles him and at first he thinks it’s Dongsun, watching him, but then he takes a closer look. The man is too old to fit Mark’s description, and from what Donghyuck can see he appears to be a beggar. Hardly a rare sight in the outskirts of the city, but the way he’s staring at Donghyuck is more than a bit unsettling.

Donghyuck shifts his weight from one feet to another, averting the beggar’s gaze. Then he takes out his phone, glances at the screen. He’s only been outside for about two minutes, but he’s already growing impatient. Mark had told him Dongsun would meet him here, yet there are no signs of any approaching cars, nor of another living soul besides the old man.

Time crawls by slowly and at some point Donghyuck is convinced he hears a noise from inside the building, but he quickly dismisses it. The adrenaline that had turned his mind numb earlier is now wearing off, and instead he feels increasingly paranoid. Eight minutes pass without a sign from Dongsun, and that’s when Donghyuck grabs his phone, typing in Mark’s number.

It rings for a long, suffocating minute before going to voicemail, and Donghyuck curses under his breath.

_Fuck this_ , he thinks, already turning back towards the door when he freezes in his tracks. There’s an odd scent hanging around that wasn’t here a minute ago. He sniffs, once, twice, before his eyes grow wide.

_Smoke._

Donghyuck looks up and there, from one of the windows on the second floor, the floor where Mark is currently lying wounded without any means of protection, flames are erupting.

He curses out loud this time, blind panic invading his mind as he runs to the door to push it open. Instead he ends up crashing against it, and he tries again, pushes and pulls at the door handle, to no avail. It’s jammed.

His fists are slamming on the door in the hope of making it budge, but he already knows it’s useless. So instead he screams, begging for Mark to answer him, to be okay.

When there’s no answer he stumbles backwards, looking up at the windows. Maybe Mark is trying to escape. He must be. He’d never go down without a fight.

Sirens sound in the distance, and for once it fills Donghyuck with relief. Help is on its way, Mark will be safe. He desperately tries to catch sight of Mark, eyes stinging because of the smoke hanging in the air. His lungs are burning, though he’s not sure if that’s also because of the smoke, or because of his own rapid breathing. He rubs his eyes, trying to lessen the pain, only to startle at the wetness of his cheeks and the blood on his hand.

He looks up again, watching the fire like he’d watched the tiny flame only minutes earlier. The sirens are close, they’d be here any moment.

There’s no time to feel relief at the thought, because as soon as it goes through his head he is thrown to the ground with a strong blow as the building explodes, setting the world aflame.

Donghyuck feels exhausted. Physically, mentally, you name it. He’s staring at the wall of his cell, occasionally pressing down on the thin mattress beneath him.

The sound of a door opening snaps him back to reality. It’s Johnny, no surprises there.

What does surprise Donghyuck is the smile on his face, bright enough to rival the sun. Donghyuck stands up from his bed, unable to stop the hope welling up in his chest.

“What’s going on?” He asks with impatience, already feeling his own mouth quirk up just at the sight of Johnny’s happiness.

Johnny doesn’t answer, but he does stop in front of his cell. Then, without saying a word, he puts his key into the lock and turns, allowing the cell door to open with a loud squeak.

“Lee Donghyuck,” he steps aside, clearing the exit, “you’re free to go.”

Donghyuck’s mouth falls open, and for a moment he’s certain it’s a joke. But Johnny’s smile is genuine and doesn’t waver.

“How…?” He isn’t sure what question to ask first, so he leaves it at that.

“We received an anonymous tip earlier today,” Johnny tells him while he nudges Donghyuck out of the cell. “It allowed us to find new evidence. There were things that didn’t make sense, but now it all fell into place!”

“I’m not guilty?” Donghyuck asks, hopeful.

“You’re not.” Johnny places a hand on his back. Donghyuck hadn’t even noticed that he was swaying on his feet, the words sounding too good to be true. “Kim Dongsun has been found guilty of the arson, though his murderer has yet to be identified.”

It still doesn’t make sense, because Donghyuck is _certain_ the guy wasn’t there that night. He stays quiet, though. If all these years have taught him anything, it’s not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“What about the lighter?” He can’t help but ask.

Johnny shrugs. “There’s no hard evidence that says that specific lighter started the fire.”

He raises a hand, willing Donghyuck to wait, and digs into his pocket with the other one. As soon as he retracts his hand Donghyuck recognises the red object and nearly tears up. There it is, the last thing Mark left him.

“Here you go,” Johnny says, handing it over. Donghyuck knows he must look weird, staring at the lighter as if it’s a priceless treasure. To him, it might as well be.

“Is it okay if I make a call before I go?” His phone broke in his pocket when he’d fallen to the ground that night, so even if Johnny returned it as well it would be useless. “My friends should be able to pick me up.”

Johnny nods kindly and that’s all Donghyuck needs to rush towards the cellphones. He knows the way by now, though he’s not sure if that’s something to be proud of. His friends can be the judge of that, once he tells them. God, he’s going home.

Right as he reaches the door, Johnny calls out for him again.

“Yeah?” He calls back, slightly breathless.

There’s a pause, and it’s enough for Donghyuck to get nervous again. His fear must be visible on his face, because Johnny hurries to reassure him. “It’s nothing bad, promise! There’s just something I think you ought to know.”

Donghyuck waits for him to continue.

“You might want to sit down,” Johnny says slowly, like he’s trying to stretch time. Donghyuck fully turns to him, crossing his arms. Internally, he’s a lot less calm, scared of what’s about to be thrown at him next.

His stubbornness at least manages to make Johnny chuckle as he shakes his head. “Fine, but I warned you.”

“Get it over with, Johnny.”

“The reports of the building came back, they finished up investigations this morning.”

Donghyuck’s mind is racing with possibilities of what this could mean, but then Johnny says it.

“No human remains were found anywhere in the building.”

It’s like he’s a puppet whose strings are cut loose when he falls apart, dropping to the floor. He’s gasping, laughing, crying a bit, maybe. There’s still a fear gripping him, maybe he heard it wrong, maybe this doesn’t mean what he thinks it does.

Almost as if Johnny can sense his doubts, he tells him,”I can’t guarantee you his safety, but I can tell you with complete certainty that Mark wasn’t in that building when it exploded.”

This is it, the thing Donghyuck has been waiting, praying to hear every second since he left Mark in that room. Now it’s like the sun is breaking through the clouds again after weeks of heavy rain, like the world has been lifted from his shoulders.

And all the while only one thought repeats itself, over and over again, like perfect lullaby.

_Mark is alive._

The night is dark, illuminated solely by the soft glow of the moon. Donghyuck is dragging Mark to an unknown destination, at least for the latter. Their hands are connected, a source of heat in the cold evening.

Mark told him they’d set the plan in motion in a few days, whatever that may entail. For Donghyuck it was simply a sign that he needed to distract his best friend until he’s able to laugh again, so that’s what he’s doing.

Admittedly, the playground looks creepy at this hour, an image straight from a horror movie. That doesn’t take away from the way Mark’s eyes light up in wonder when he recognises it.

“It’s not the same as the original place, obviously,” Donghyuck says, suddenly feeling uncharastically shy. “But it’s close enough, right?”

Mark gives him a fond smile. “It’s perfect, Hyuckie.”

They head for the swings, eager to recreate their first meetings. Mark hasn’t let go of Donghyuck’s hand yet, and it makes butterflies come to life in his stomach.

As soon as they’re close enough, Donghyuck notices that one of the swings is broken and can’t help but pout.

“You can go first,” Mark says quietly, as if scared to disrupt the peace. “I’ll push.”

Donghyuck doesn’t need to be told twice, sitting down on the swing as he waits for Mark to start. Now it’s really like when they were younger, and Donghyuck would boss him around, whining till Mark gave in and pushed him until he could reach the stars.

The feeling is like flying and laughter falls from his lips as Mark makes him go higher and higher without complaining once. When Donghyuck turns to look at him, he’s watching him with so much _adoration_ , it makes Donghyuck’s heart skip a beat.

That’s the moment, right then and there, that he decides to stop caring.

He calls out to stop and Mark obeys in an instant, eyes curious.

“It’s your turn,” Donghyuck says, and it’s barely a whisper.

Something in his voice must betray his feelings, because Mark’s cheeks turn a pretty shade of scarlet. Or maybe the shadows are playing tricks on him, making him even more enamoured than he already is.

He gets up and switches places with Mark. The moment Mark is seated, Donghyuck gently places his hands on his shoulders, but he doesn’t push.

Instead, he walks around the swing again until he’s facing Mark, whose confusion is clear as day.

Mark opens his mouth, probably to question him, but before he gets the chance to say anything that can make Donghyuck chicken out, Donghyuck sits down on his lap.

The swing tilts dangerously and a loud creak reminds them that it isn’t made to hold the weight of two people, but it’s all white noise to Donghyuck. All he can see, hear, sense is the way Mark’s eyes widen, Mark’s face reddens, Mark’s breath stutters, Mark, Mark, Mark.

“Donghyuck.” Soft. Pleading.

He wraps his arms around Mark’s torso, careful not to break eye contact as he shifts in his lap and revelling in the way it’s making Mark gasp. His hands sneak under Mark’s shirt and the touch is like pure electricity running through his body.

“Is this okay?” He asks, because despite all the signs he’s still scared that maybe he got it all wrong.

His doubts are washed away when Mark nods hurriedly. “Hyuck, I…”

Donghyuck rests his forehead against Mark’s, huffing out a soft laugh.

“I know, hyung.” There’s no need to say it. “Me too.”

Mark’s shoulders shake as he laughs tenderly as well. Then he leans back, ever so slightly, and his expression turns into something more serious.

One hand supporting Donghyuck to make sure he doesn’t fall, he lifts up the other to gently cup Donghyuck’s face. Donghyuck doesn’t even hesitate before leaning into his touch, sighing contentedly. Mark leans in until their breaths are mingling, forming little clouds between their lips in the cold night.

“Please forgive me, Hyuckie,” he whispers against his mouth.

Donghyuck has no time to question it before Mark links their lips together in a kiss so full of love. He lifts his hands from Mark’s back, throwing them around his neck instead so he can deepen their kiss. All thoughts escape his mind as Donghyuck allows himself to be consumed by Mark’s touch.

He’s been falling for years, but it’s only then, under the starry night, that he finally allows himself to land safely, right in Mark’s arms.

The world outside is vibrant and alive, with cars rushing by and people laughing as they walk past him. Donghyuck squints, not used to the brightness of the sun after being inside for so long.

It’s strange, the feeling of hope in his chest. Like the first spring flower blooming after a long winter, fragile yet resilient.

Any moment now the others will be here. Renjun and Jeno would greet him with a smile and Jaemin would latch onto him immediately, nagging and sprouting words of affection all at the same time. Jisung will probably mumble something about missing him before being pulled in a hug he would deny participating in afterwards. Chenle will be there too, most likely, filling the street with his contagious laughter.

Only one thing will be missing, but that’s temporary.

Donghyuck breaths in the fresh air when he hears their voices in the distance. His lips curl into a grin.

For days he’d thought this was the end, the crash and burn he’d been waiting for all these years. Now, free with the knowledge that Mark is still out there, he knows better.

This is just the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and please let me know what you thought of it! Some things have been left vague on purpose, as this might become a series~
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/tentoheaven)!


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